three of three

today i heard back from the final university i applied to (and my first choice of all three.) it came in a small envelope so as i opened it i was preparing myself for another rejection, but instead it said that i made it onto their waitlist. even though it's not a "yes, you're in!" i'm still pretty excited to have made it onto the list and even happier that they said that my application was excellent. :) so at the end of it all i got rejected once and waitlisted twice - an improvement from last time so regardless of whatever happens at least i will feel like i accomplished something. yeah. i'm happy. there is still hope. :)

and the waiting continues to continue...

two of three

i've been waitlisted at one of the remaining two universities i applied to (read: there is still hope, even if the chance is slim.) :) i'm actually just really happy that there was some improvement relative to my last attempt. kinda makes me feel like all my hard work and sweat wasn't totally for nothing. anyway, still haven't heard anything from my first choice - not sure if this is a good thing or not - but i'm thinking i'll most likely hear back from them within the next week or so. this is nerve-wracking.

the waiting continues...

one of three

so i didn't make it into one of the programs i applied to. sucks, but that's ok. even though i'm pretty crushed, i can't really do anything other than keep my chin up and just wait for the next two results to come in. i truly did try my best, and i think God recognizes that, so regardless of whatever the outcome may be i will have that to hold onto. and that (ideally) should be enough, right?

one down, two to go. :/

the waiting game

it's been a while since my first attempt, but once again i find myself in the same place as i was two years ago: waiting.

it's the worst part of the whole process and the part that takes the most strength because it's so much more than just waiting for a letter. i'm waiting to see what the next step is, waiting to see what direction to head towards, and waiting in expectancy because despite all the obstacles and setbacks that have come and will come my way, i'm still holding onto this promise:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." - Jer 29:11-13

seeking, waiting, and trusting that my future is in good hands...

door number two is closed too.

i love music, i really do. i'm soon-to-be graduating with a BMT (bachelor of music therapy) & BA Psych, and in retrospect i'm glad that i chose the option i did, but the road to where i'm at now has been tough, long, and full of resistance...from me.

i realized today that throughout my whole life, i've constantly tried to run away from music. i've tried different things, but i've never been able distance myself from it. in elementary school i did this by refusing to fill out the arts york program applications until the morning of the day it was due (and even so it was only because liz made me); in high school i did this by originally applying for only science programs; and in university it was applying to masters programs in speech-language pathology for post-grad education.

well, all my attempts failed: i ended up going to unionville high school for their arts york piano program, then going to wilfrid laurier university for music (then eventually music therapy), and i didn't get into any of the schools i applied to for speech-language pathology. i don't believe in coincidences, so it's not by chance that any of these things happened. with all that in mind, i can't help but ask myself why i'm so reluctant to enter into the music field when He has guided me this far, and has equipped me with musical skills.

to make a long explanation short, i'm scared.

just call me Jonah. maybe this, my not getting into speech, was my big fish...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11

...but even jonah eventually learned that with God's help he could overcome his own personal baggage and follow God's plan for his life right? i suppose now it's my turn.

where You lead me, i will follow...