1..2..3..cheeeeeese!

oh gosh that title was cheesy. get it? cheeeeese-y. hahahahah. oh goodness. somebody stop me. (didja like that kary?) haha. anyway...moving on. :P

so there's nothing like looking at pictures and remembering good times when you're upset and pissed off beyond belief. though the relief may be only temporary, it still makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. :) here are some pictures from over my Christmas break! i spent the majority of it doing family stuff, (so many dinners it was insane), but it was great getting to know my cousins better...and it was fun!!! turns out, i have hilarious cousins!! hahahahha ;)

alright, here they are. :)

1. sharon, danielle, edward, betty and liz
2. "team 1": maxine and liz
3. "team 2": sharon and andre
4. "team 3": lisa and lydia
(we were playing CSI the boardgame. hahaha. we are so cool. although, that game is totally not meant for 13 yr olds. it was so complicated. :P)
5. liz and sharon
6. all the cousins on my mom's side, minus one.
7. andre, maxine, liz and lisa (andre is so fobby. hahaha)
8. sharon, danielle, lisa (we took danielle skating at nathan phillip's square downtown, and we all had a lot of fun. can u tell she lives in california? hahha. she's so dark compared to us! hahaha)

third year, second term.

it's hard to believe that we're already starting second term. time flies.

this year i've definitely changed some things in my life. i've put more things into perspective and have gotten my priorities straighter than before, and so far it seems to have helped a lot. last term was a successful one in terms of school (my best one in all my terms here at laurier) despite it being the busiest with my seven courses, music therapy placement, and work (so glad i'm not working this term.) although i'm still waiting on two of my grades, i'm completely satisfied with the marks that have come in so far, which is definitely a first.

in terms of the other parts of life, it has definitely been an interesting ride. at times it's been really rough and incredibly hard, but i've been blessed with some awesome people in my life. i've been fortunate in terms of being able to cultivate, develop and strengthen friendships with great people - i think that i have a better picture of those i can count on, those i can trust, and those i simply cannot and would rather keep my distance from. i definitely cherish the aforementioned group of people and their friendship. :)

as i look back and reflect, i cannot help but see how good God has to me so far this year. while He continues to stretch me through my experiences, and test me through circumstances, i know that He has everything under control. i know He knows exactly what is going on. i just need to keep that in mind no matter what.

so, as i write this blog entry in the early morning before the first day of school in 2005, here's a toast to the start of another term. oh, and one last thing: happy new year. :) kampai! *clink*

i miss home.

note: this is an incredibly honest blog, as it depicts (pretty accurately) how i'm feeling right now. read at your own risk.

there are a million things that i can say right now about what happened, about you even. there are a million things that are itching to burst out of my mouth, but no. i refuse to stoop down to your level.

it's over. no more will you have the control to make my life hell. as of yesterday night i wash my hands of you. both of you.

________________________________________

mariah carey | can't take that away

They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I will not allow
Anyone to succeed
Hanging clouds over me
And they can try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me

They can do anything they want to you
lf you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to your pride
And just push them aside
See I have learned there's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul
That they cannot possess
So I won't be afraid
And darkness will fade

'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

No They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me
Certainly the Lord will guide me
Where I need to go

They can say anything they want to say
Try to break me down
But 1 won't face the ground
I will rise steadily
Sailing out of their reach

Oh Lord
They do try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
From me

oh Lord...

...have mercy on them.

though we do not understand, let us have faith in Your sovereign and perfect plan.

it's the most wonderful time of the year...

let's not forget the true meaning of this special day this year...it was quite the big thing that happened 2004 years ago.

i think over the years i have come to respect mary all that much more. when i was younger i remember not really thinking about it too much, but as i've grown older i think that i've understood more the extent of what she did - the "hugeness" of her task. i can't even begin to think what mary must have been thinking on the days leading up to the birth of Jesus Christ. my gosh. it's one thing to be expecting a firstborn, but to expect your firstborn...who is the Lord of all Creation? i know i would have been terrified. and this is me talking now, as a twenty-one year old. i can't imagine having to go through what mary must have gone through as a sixteen year old girl...so strong. what a task. what a heart. what an honour.

but what's more amazing, is what God did. i mean, God gave His only son to the world that night - "giving" in the sense that for the next thirty-something years He would leave heaven and live on earth. imagine letting your son live in a world that you know will reject Him. imagine letting your son live amongst people who will despise him, and abandon Him when He needs them the most. imagine letting your only son live a world that would ultimately kill Him. imagine letting your son going through all this, knowing fully that this would happen to Him. most parents would transfer their kid from one school to the next if they were aware that their child was a victim of constant bullying. most parents would tell their kids to stay away from those whom they think would even possibly hurt them.

God sent His son to this world, and that night 2004 years ago was the start of something extraordinary - the beginning of Jesus Christ's life here on earth.

have yourself a very merry Christmas. :)

________________________________________________________

labour of love

It was not a silent night, there was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry in the alley way that night,
on the streets of David's town.
And the stable was not clean, and the cobblestones were cold,
And little Mary full of grace, with the tears upon her face,
And no mother's hand to hold

It was the labour of pain, it was a cold sky above
For the girl in the ground in the dark, every beat of her beautiful heart,
Was a labour of love

Noble Joseph at her side, calloused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found, in the streets of David's town,
In the middle of the night.
So he held her and he prayed, shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in the womb, was the maker of the moon,
He was the author of the faith that could make the mountains move.

It was a labour of pain, it was a cold sky above,
For the girl on the ground in the dark, every beat of her beautiful heart,
Was a labour of love
Little mary full of grace, and the tears upon her face,
Was a labour of love.

It was not a silent night,
On the streets of David's town.

just another day at the...athletic complex?

in case any of you have any wierd ideas or visualizations of this girl (me) lifting weights, or running on a treadmill, let me crush that thought with this one: the only time i go to the AC here is if i am writing an exam there. hahha. i know, it's a waste, but that's just how things have worked out so far. who knows? maybe in the future i'll go there, and um...do the stuff there that people do, but until then, you'll only see me there with a pen, pencil, eraser, writing an exam.

anyway, i had my last exam today! :) nevertheless, my trip there was quite eventful. with my three hours of sleep, i kept spacing out and during my spaced out periods i would catch random things happening in the exam room.

newbie procter:
poor newbie procter. he had no idea what to do with those green sign-in sheets. i know what you're thinking, how can you mess up the sign-in sheets? ladies and gentlemen, let me just let you know, that it IS possible to mess this up. about 1 hour into the exam after a whole truckload of people had gone, i saw him go up to my teacher and say something about the sheets. all of a sudden my teacher was like, "you're not supposed to let them go without signing in. never. now our count [of the students doing their exams] will be off." heehee. apparently newbie proctor hadn't finished his rounds, and students in his row just upped and left. i think that my teacher was a little annoyed with that. ahhaha. poor new proctor man. he was told in front of the whole gym. although, probably not a lot of people heard it...mainly because i was sitting in the second row, and like...listening to what they were saying. haha. *cough* anyway...moving on.

procter/teacher with the loud shoes:
there's nothing worse than sitting in a quiet exam room, when all of a sudden you hear "click clock click clock". (excuse my poor sound description, i didn't know how else to describe the annoying clatter of this procter's heels.) not only that, it seemed as though she thoroughly enjoyed the sound of her shoes, and proceeded to walking everywhere possible. ahhhhh! i was gonna go insane. almost wanted to rip off her shoes and throw them out the window. hehehe. click clock click clock. i had three hours of sleep, and this morning a car alarm went off outside my window. ahhhh. i just didn't want anymore unnecessary noise, u know? i think there should be a rule, that procters can't wear heels. actually, i'm not sure if she was a procter. i think she may have been the italian teacher. argh. good thing i want to take spanish. :P

jacket thief?:
alright, so during another time when i had spaced out during my exam, i saw some girl standing by my stuff, and she kinda just dumped my jacket on the floor when she was getting her stuff. so i was kinda like, grrr. (the floor is gross!) but then she put it onto the table behind her so it was okay...until...she picked up my jacket and took off. meanwhile, i was sitting in my chair having a heartattack. literally. i mean, what could i do?! i was writing my exam!!!! i felt so helpless. so, i did the only thing i could think of doing and raised my arm in desperation. well, 5 seconds later, i saw the girl come back, and put my jacket on the floor and pick up another jacket that looks EXACTLY like mine from the floor beside it. which is wierd, because my jacket isn't exactly the most common, u know what i mean? so what are the chances that i happened to put my stuff down beside hers? anyway, so later when i was picking up my stuff, i realized that the unintentional jacket thief must have noticed that the jacket she picked up wasn't hers, because i had stuffed my scarf into my jacket sleeve. ahh. so glad that i picked up that habit in junior kindergarten and it stuck. :) *phew* in any case, i have my jacket. things are good.

and who said laurier wasn't eventful? haha. :P

wow. third year is half over. where did the time go?

just a little something...

i thought this was funny....so random. so witty. i love it. hahaha

rock on, you crazy kids. ;)

happy studying for finals everyone...hang in there, Christmas is almost here! :D

*shake shake shake*

here's a little something i thought was funny...click here, and go nuts with the shaking. ;)

great time waster.

alright, my break is up. time to beat up my books! bye!

oh g-strings...

so today i broke my first ever acoustic guitar string. i was practicing the worship set today with spammie before fellowship began, and all of a sudden there was a *snap*. i stopped and was a little confused at first, but then i realized that i had snapped the G string. then i felt stupid and embarassed. unfortunately, i didn't have any extra strings with me, but fortunately nevin was kind enough to lend me his guitar to use during worship. *thanks nevin!*

phew. i'm glad it didn't happen during worship. i wouldn't know what to do...perhaps i would put the guitar down and walk around the room aimlessly. uhm...yah. gotta love awkwardness. ;) hahaha

anyway, i thought that it was blogworthy to mention my first ever guitar string breakage! justin said he was very proud of me. :)

so b l u e.

a reminder that we need to be lights amongst the darkness - this world needs us to be.

_____________________________________________

downhere | so blue

Shallow capacity is bearing all I see, and I know
It's disease, it's loss, it's death knocking at my door
I click these thoughts to something else, something more.

I'm so blue, you're so blue.

Detached harmonies, all the airways scream dissonance
And we know of broken life, broken homes,
Broken hearts and broken bones,
Recycling the paper of a crying world's suicide note and
We're so blue, so blue.

See the world spinning round
A sucking hole that souls go down
Embrace the sorrow of today because repentance finds a way
Only His blood can heal our wounds
Only His blood can heal our wounds
And if repentance finds a way, what's left today to be.….blue?

A final symphony,
The precipice too close, you're scaring me -- back away
Sin is real, it doesn't feel, It always, only always, steals.
Run to the cross the only joy that's real.