*whaaaaap.*

there are some days when God will just hit you in the face and be like, "do you see now?" and then you'll finally see things in the right perspective and sheepishly say, "oh."

today is one of those days for me.

ever since sunday i've been thinking about ken taylor's sermon. not like, incessantly, but it has been on my mind but i guess i have just been so relunctant to change. the whole, "i didn't do anything wrong" bit. well, maybe i didn't really directly do anything wrong at the time, but doing nothing since then isn't exactly right thing to do either. i remember i was talking on the phone with justin about stuff yesterday, and i was just like....yah yah yah yah. (hehhe. sorry justin.) when he was like making valid and important points that i needed to hear. well i mean, i "heard" them. but i didn't really really hear them, u know? (must have been my "yah yah yah"s.) :( stupid stupid pride. stupid stupid me.

anyway, today God hit me with something. thanks Father, it kinda hurt (my pride mostly), it kinda made me feel stupid, but i needed it. but then again...You already knew that. :)

_____________________________________________

jennifer knapp | refine me

I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain
You're my God and my Father
I've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?

Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?

Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray

Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me

just for procrastination's sake.

here are two pictures i took last week when it was raining like it was nobody's business one night. (i was just playing around with my camera, trying to get more aquainted with the buttons amongst other things.) anyway, they didn't quite turn out the way i wanted them to, but i think that they still look kinda neat. (teehee, "neat" - who says neat anymore?) AND you can kinda see my room's reflection in the window in one of them. haha. too cool. :P

okay, that is all. enough procrastinating, back to studying...i'm almost done my chapter for the night. good luck on midterms everyone! :)

He is so in control.

it never ceases to amaze me just how God really takes care of everything - the big things, and even the really littles ones too.

His eye is on the sparrow,
and i know He watches over me.

BC missions 2001.

today i took out my pictures from when i went on missions to BC back in summer 2001. all these emotions and memories always flood my mind when i open up my photoalbum. however, i realized today i haven't looked at them in a long time and sadly, i haven't really thought any of the kids i met there in a while. but even worse, i haven't prayed for them in a long time...

they'd all be three years older now, but here are some pictures of the kids...




Father, watch over them.

t h a n k s!!

i don't think that i've ever been more suprised in my life. or have been suprised so many times in such a short span of time. my goodness you guys are sneaky. and once again, i've proved that i really do suck at these things. :P hahah

justin, i don't know how you managed to do it, but you did. thanks again. and again. and again. :) *mugs*

so today i got home from my optometrist appointment/hairdresser. there was still some hair on my shirt (from the hairdressers place. ewwwww. i hate hair) so i took the lint brush and was trying to get all the icky hairs off of me. (ewwww. i hate hair.) i originally started in the kitchen, but then my dad was like "you don't do that here, go upstairs to the bathroom..." so i was like "ok." and up the stairs i went. so i'm in the bathroom trying to look close and hard in the mirror to get rid of every single last iddy biddy piece of loose hair on my shirt when all of a sudden in the mirror i see...

liz!!!!! :D she flew in this morning and was my fourth surprise this week. i was so shocked that i screamed, dropped the lint brush, hugged her super tight...and cried. it's been a while since we've seen each other. oh my goodness. it was crazy. i love my family.

who would have thought that turning twenty-one could be so eventful?

i guess i just wanted to say thanks everyone for all the comments, e-mails, messages, hugs, presents, laughter, cards and surprises! this week was awesome (and yesterday was just crazy.) any birthday girl couldn't have asked for a better one. or for better friends. *HUGS* you guys rock my world. :)

that was a close one.

well, all is well again. phew. that counting/breathing/giving-it-up-to-God thing really does work pretty well... :P

anyway, thanks everyone for tonight. using pre-study as a decoy. and then actually having one afterwards. (good discussion by the way. i know that i learned more things.) ahhahaha. you guys are great! :D

justin, thanks. *muah* :)

breathe.

"...forgiven so that I can forgive..."

take a deep breath. count to 10. give it up to God.

good grief.