all night, all day
angels watching over me, my Lord
all night, all day
angels watching over me.

"If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge - then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." - Psalm 91:9-11

i love that song. i won't forget it. thanks for sharing liz.

i love that verse. what a comfort that is. thanks mom.

i love that promise. You are awesome. thanks God.

draw me even closer, Lord...

well...i just finished talking to leo on the telephoner. we talked for a long time...and it was GREAT!! it was really nice getting to talk to him again - haven't done it in quite the while. anyway, he told me to update my blog (jon also mentioned this to me tonight) so...here i am....updating. :)

earlier today i was in a very contemplative state of mind. i dunno. just thinking and stuff. so many things. sometimes....university life is crazy. hahaha. but it's alright. it certainly is different...and it has made me change my perspectives on some things.

university has made me...
- appreciate home more
- appreciate my family more
- treasure my true friends
- discover great new things (ie. labattblueline)
- think more in general
- appreciate music all the more
- have a greater appreciation for sweatpants
- stop wearing contacts (haha. i haven't touched them for a month)
- meet new and great people (ie. Anita, Dawn, Steph...to name a few) :)
- a little more independent (I would like to think)
- discover a little more about myself
- be more thankful for the things taken forgranted back home (ie. getting to drive a car back in TO)
- realize all the blessings that God has given me

yah. all in all, this whole experience has had its ups and downs...but, what doesn't break you only makes you stronger right? :)

well...today has been a crazy day...good ol university. :P ahhaha. and i'm feeling really outta it....so i'm gonna get going. g'nite world. :)

head spinning, teary eyed, trying to understand, trying to change, reflecting, re-evaluating, surviving...confused. this is my world today. some days i like it, some days i don't. so far today, i don't. but i'll look back later and i'll appreciate it.

Father, help me. guide me. thank You for loving me in ways that no one else can ever love me. help me understand. comfort me. dry my tears. hold me. be with me. help me change. thank you for fearfully and wonderfully making me in your image. i pray that i'll learn to be the person, the child of God, that You want me to be. help me surrender.
all this in Your Sons Holy Name,
Amen.

hmmm...things seem to be getting brighter. :) Thanks God.

'today' is really 'yesterday' -- *sigh* what can u do? :)

heehee....my day has finally come to a close. what an eventful night it has been. actually. an eventful day in general. :) i went to psych class at 10 where i actually found it to be quite interesting. we were learning about vision and the parts of the eyeball and stuff like that. and it was really cool. :) then i watched zoolander. what a funny stupid movie. hahahaha. so stupid! magnum. oh goodness. *heehee* anyway. then after that i went to my private piano lesson - and that was pretty good. i need to practice more. i realized that i could go and practice in my teacher's room today. that should be good....because the piano in there is sooooo much better than the ones in the practice room. ahh. so many possibilities now. :) actually, not really. just another spot where i can practice. as long as i get there soon enough - since it's a first come first serve basis. hmmmm...then after that i came home where i did nothing in my dorm for a while. (haha. :P) and then i went back out to teach piano...

my piano student's name is Helen. and the whole family is really nice. they used to be my mom's student but then they moved to waterloo (because the mother is getting her masters in engineering at uw), so now she's my student. :) how convenient. they're really nice. i went over Helen's apartment (they drove me) and then we started the lesson at around 7, ending it around 7 30ish. she's a pretty bright kid. impressive. :) although practice is essential. hahaha. as it always is. :P then they fed me dinner. and then i got a ride home.

then...i went to wilf's, with justin, dawn and jon. (hannah also came, but she left earlier). there was a band was playing, "blackwater trio", and they were pretty good....considering the fact that the songs they played there weren't exactly my favorite. ahhaha. it was quite interesting there. :) i won't go into details but yah. ahhaha. it was funny. oh yah. for all your non-laurier goers, wilf's is the on-campus bar. so i'll just summarize the events. jon and justin drank a lot of stuff that tasted like crap. (they call it beer *yuckyuckyuck* - and it really tasted like POO. i've never actually tasted poo, but i'm sure that if i did, that's what it would've tasted like. but, i got 2 bucks for having some...sweet deal.) dawn and i had some stuff that tasted pretty yummy. and then dawn got soooooooo red, and my head felt woozy. hehehee. but no worries. everything is still intact. nothing went wrong. still able to walk in a straight line. and habits will NOT be made. so yah. all in all, it's been a fun night. *one of us...one of us...ahhaha. too funny dawn...too funny...yay!!!!! :)*

so, many thanks to justin, dawn and jon - for making tonight so great. *hugs* u guys rock. so fun. :) i'm about to fall asleep right here...so i'm gonna go. g'nite all y'all. :)

another early morning...*yawn*

*sigh* another weekend at home. what a GREAT feeling. and it's ever better since tomorrow is monday and it's thanksgiving. so no school. an extra day at home. :) yay!!! anyway. so this weekend has been quite nice. didn't really do much. but it was nice and relaxing. just what i needed. time away from things. time away from people. just some alone time. chilling with myself. it's been great. lizzie came home this weekend too. which was a total surprise to me. my dad led me to my room when i came home saying that i need to clean it (which i need to do also) and then liz just kinda popped out from by bed covers. ahhaha. i screamed and started laughing my head off. that was the start of my weekend. it couldn't have started off any better. :) then we went to shoppers, got a few things, then went to blockbuster and rented 'the panic room' and 'changing lanes'. both movies weren't bad at all. although i found the endings lacking. but whatever. then saturday came around and i totally felt like being a bum. not going out. not doing anything. so, that's what i did. :) i must have practiced piano for minimum 2.5hrs - catching up on all the practicing i don't do while at school. :P and i really needed it. my hands felt really good afterwards. hopefully my piano teacher wil be extra happy with me this week. then i watched changing lanes then justin came over for a bit, and we watched enemy of the state which happened to be on tv. and that was good too. didn't get a chance to see him for like...almost three days. which is a lot considering i see him everyday at school. so it was nice seeing him again, after not seeing him for a while. which was probably a good thing too. because maybe we see each other too much? not that it's a bad thing. but it could turn into a bad thing, if the whole dependency issue becomes a factor. :/ then basically i watched trading spaces into the wee hours of the night until i went to bed and got up for church the next morning.

the sermon today was really good. tim preached on jonah's prayer in the big fish. while he was preaching i was reading the beginning of the book of jonah (his sermon started in the 2nd chapter), which is something i usually do, to get more context of the verse that is being focused on. it's really cool, the book of jonah. i never really paid much attention to it, but i appreciate it much more now. imagine that, God never giving up on someone. even when the someone has given up themselves. God places scenarios in our lives, for our benefit. even though it may seem that's not the case sometimes. but really, sometimes God needs to put HUGE obstacles and crazy events in our lives because we just don't get it. just like jonah didn't get it. why? because sometimes we cannot comprehend the great plans of God. because we sometimes we just aren't ready to fulfill the things we are meant to fulfill. so wait, why the obstacles again? so we can learn the lesson that God wants us to, and be better equipped to do what God has in store for us.

it's what we call 'tough love'...oh that God. i love Him, isn't He great? :)

help me long for You more and more, Lord. teach me more, and help me have the courage and strength to learn.

in the name of the One who died for me,
Amen.

nichole nordeman | every season

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

still October 9th. it's late. u know how it is... :)

thanks to everyone for yesterday (the eighth). thanks for the icq messages, the phone calls, dinner, the piece of cake, the cards...just everything and anything that was done just to show me that u cared. even just being with me...thank you. :)

wow. nineteen. i still remember when liz turned nineteen. i thought that she was super old. and now, three years later, it's my turn. time seems to go by so fast. so many things learned, so many mistakes made, so many changes. soooooo many things that are uncertain in life. where will i be in ten years? will i even make it to being twenty? :) one thing's for sure though, God's love for me has never faltered. looking back, i see His hand guiding me through the stages of life. blessing me with the presence of those around me. placing people in my life at specific times. giving me opportunities time and time again. loving me, mistakes and all. loving me, even when i place Him at the back of my priorities list. loving me, when everything i do tells Him i don't love Him nearly as much as i should. loving me, for me. unconditionally. constantly trying to mold me into the person He wants me to be - even though many times, i resist.

why? because He is my daddy and i am His. i'm His child. His daughter. on a more personal note, lately i've been feeling as though i've been drifting again. as i sit in front of my computer typing this blog, i feel more and more shameful as i think back to all the days when i have seen my Bible by my bed but have neglected to open it. when i knew i should pray, when i knew that God was longing to talk to me, but chose not to. so a prayer request of mine would be, to really see how much i need God in my life (especially at this stage of life). not even so much as needing God. but needing God above all else in all stages of my life. I need God's presence. it's been a while since i've really, truly felt it, and i'm longing for it again. i don't need a good worship night. i don't need a good sermon. i don't need a good devotional book. i need Him. and as i type this, i'm starting to truly recognize how much i really do. i may be 19 now, but i'm still the same confused little girl i was at age 18. the same confused little girl i was at age 14. i realize that i can't do it alone. i can't keep on living like this. i need Him.

so many changes in life. thankfully i have something i can hold on to that will never change. the one constant in my life: my Heavenly Father. i pray that i will continually remind myself of this. i pray i that i will never let go of the hand of my Daddy. I've known what i've had to do long enough. it's time to take it a step further. it's time to truly take my eyes off me. won't be easy, but it's not impossible either. nineteen years. God's been waiting for me far too long...

plz continue to pray for me...don't let me forget what i just wrote...thanks all y'all. :)

thank you to everyone who remembered. it's not even an hour into the day and so many people have already said the two words that people only hear once a year. :) thanks for remembering. i feel so blessed. u guys rock. i'll write more later...thanks again! *hugs*

i'm currently: feeling nostalgic

today i talked to gloria on the phone for quite a bit. she's great! i totally miss her. i miss all the gloria and sharon times! giving each other THE 'sign' at times when it completely did not make any sense whatsoever. shopping at eaton's centre and screwing up taking sticker pictures. hahahaha. so long ago, but still so fresh in my memory. :) it was sooooooo nice talking to her again...haven't talked to her in quite a while. she's still the same ol outgoing, silly gloria. heehee...

at one point we brought up the slackers. hahaha. it was soooo funny. we called ourselves the original slacker crew. it started at a daniel camp and number of years ago (i think Daniel Camp '99) and it was comprised of me, gloria and jin. we had so many good times. i'll never forget the 'diaper incident' - when we went canoeing and each of us wore 2 lifejackets. one around our upper body like normal people, and another around our bums which not only gave us more padding making the canoe ride more comfortable, BUT also gave us a water resistant barrier so even if we sat on a wet seat in a canoe our pants would still be dry (so we wouldn't have to change pants later). soooooooooo many crazy memories we've shared. and now we've gone out separate ways - Vancouver, Ottawa, Waterloo. but our memories will 'last a lifetime'... :)

so...as a result of our conversation i'm now feeling nostalgic. friends. people that have the ability of leaving marks all throughout one's life. from the really early memories: cutting paper during naptime in kindegarten (heehee...u know who u are rinny..ahhaha), to the memories in between: sleepovers (ahaha...so fun shannon...helmet box *shhhhhh*) and then to the more recent memories: grapes (oh crazy lizzie!), driving school/silly conversations/everything else (justin), venting times (jon), super silly conversations about adam and eve (leo), slapping faces (james), trace busta busta busta (alli)...along with the other memories that i just can't list because there's too many...you know who are. thanks for leaving your mark on my life. :)

here's to all the times - both good and bad. my life just wouldn't have been the same without them. thanks. *clink*

it's early in the morning again...just wanted to share lyrics of a song that has been in my head the whole day before i said good night to the world. it's one of my most favourite hymns ever. i love it.

[His eye is on the sparrow]

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I`m happy,
I sing because I`m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled," His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I`m happy,
I sing because I`m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I`m happy,
I sing because I`m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

okay...g'nite world. :)

btw...in my head it's still October 2nd. it's just the early morning...again. :)

i liked today. even though it was a wednesday, and wednesdays are the bad days. i actually had a headache after my 8 30 class and felt dizzy so i feel went back to sleep again at 10 and woke up around 11 30 - so i missed my masterclass with anya today. but it was such a good nap. *sigh* wierd dreams. but whatever. they were interesting but enjoyable too :) anyway, so today i went and had chinese dinner with lccf. the bad part? i was soooooo late (i told them around 8 30 i would get there but i ended up getting there at around 9 00). why? because i went to the wrong restaurant. and so then i walked back to school went on the computers there and checked my e-mail. finally figured out where it was, and by the time i got there it was 9 00. ahhaha. i pulled a me. *sigh* oh well. doesn't matter. then afterwards, me and justin went over to anita's house where we played mario party 2 until like...midnight. and it was great! even though i really sucked. anita presses that 'a' button sooooo fast. it's ridiculous. hahah. anita really is just about the nicest person that i've ever met. yay anita! and i haven't even known her for that long, but i do know that she's an amazing person. she even bought jujubes for justin and told him he had to share them with me. hahaha...she's so cool. :)

but yah! i'm totally in a really good mood right now. just listening to my sappy songs, chewing gum, talking to people on icq that i haven't talk to in while. so there's this guy who lives on my floor and he's talked to me through my door twice now. yesterday he was just like "sharon better not be sleeping. it's too early". (my name is on my door...) and then today he was like "go to sleep sharon, it's getting late". ahhaha. what the crap? but whatever...it's funny. :) i have no idea who this guy is, i only know that he's white. i don't even know if he's seen me before or knows who i am either...oh well. it's amusing...

oh! while i'm still in 'october 2nd mode'...HAPPY nineteenth BIRTHDAY JOSH!!!! :)

anyway. it's getting pretty late. probably should be heading off to bed now...so....i'm gonna go now. oh. one more thing. its officially been one month (taking into consideration it's technically the third). i'm a happy one. :) g'nite!

i'm currently: chillaxing in my dorm, eating saltine crackers, listening to 'by the tree'

Hello world. :) today was such a hot day. so now i'm just taking it easy. trying to clean my room as i have been doing the whole day. i'm just super slow. and super messy. so put the two together and that's why it's taken me so long. so yesterday i got to talk to two friends on the phone. (yay procrastination for studying!) nono, but both conversations (one with alli, another with phoebe) were really good. it was really nice just talking to them and seeing what's been going on in their lives lately...

so it's the first day of october. one month of university over. only about 7 more months to go. the workload hasn't been too tough so far, just the whole adjusting aspect of it was tough for me. i live a pretty sheltered life back home in to (well. my thornhill suburb. :P) and i think that i still live a pretty sheltered life here in waterloopoo. but i don't really mind. i know things are out there. but i choose not to do them. i suppose some people will think i'm ignorant, and maybe to some extent i am, but it's not like i don't ackowledge the fact that things are there to do. i acknowledge them. i just don't do them. i just can't imagine myself doing it. hahaha. i mean, can u picture me at a club? hahahahaahhaha. i laugh because i can't even picture that. :) i went to 2 proms, in one i didn't dance at all and in the other i was literally dragged and pushed out onto the dance floor. and i stayed there for maybe 10 mins at most the whole night. maybe some time in the distant future, but not anytime soon. anyway. i had a point in all of this...lemme just stop and regroup.

oh yes. living a sheltered life. well, there are up sides and there are down sides. some people like it, some people don't. for me, i'm content with listening to music and eating saltine crackers in the safety of my dorm room. i'm a 'homey girl'. (no not homie-ghetto. homey as in i like staying in). i like being comfortable in my surroundings doing things i'm comfortable doing. i know this isn't how everyone else lives. i know that not everyone would do what i do. and i respect that. but, this is my life. this is me. and i like it. :)