a glimpse of sharon world...

lifesong.

so lifesong has come and gone. (lifesong is basically a coffeehouse-type thing put on by uwccf). i think that the night was very powerful. very moving at times. very good. :) i sang the ruth ling song (posted below). i managed to pull a sharon and forget some words but i guess that's pretty irrelevant compared to why i was singing the song in the first place. even though i made mistakes, i hope that God was pleased with my attitude and my heart. and i hope that He still is.

it's really hard sometimes when people compliment you. i've always had some difficulty responding to compliments about my piano playing or stuff like that. and i think that after a while it becomes tougher to truly give God the full credit. it's one thing to externally show humbleness, but it's a whole different story to be humble internally. i view myself as an instrument. for my piano playing, it's not really me playing, but rather it's only my fingers. the music that comes out is God's doing. same with voice - my vocal chords, but it's not really my singing. (if that makes sense). but sometimes, when you get a lot of positive feedback, it can go to your head and then all of a sudden you find yourself thinking otherwise. that's where the problem occurs. but then on the other hand, when you start getting all proud of yourself for being so humble...you're being prideful again. it's something that i've struggled with in the past. and just something that came up after lifesong. compliments in themselves are not bad, but it's the way in which the compliments are absorbed when things have the potential to get bad. i pray that God will have mercy on me and continue to humble me and break my heart for Him.

i think that ruth "said" it best after she played her piece that she composed for her baptism testimony. (it was a different song). my sister was showing me the video and when she finished and everyone was applauding, she didn't bow. she didn't smile big and take all the credit. she actually didn't say anything. instead, she just pointed towards Heaven and directed all the clapping and the praise towards God.

awesome. i hope that my finger will always be pointed towards Heaven - directing the positive feedback or compliments i receive to the One who really deserves them all.