so long, friendster.

well, my friendster account (the one that i didn't even sign up for myself *ahem eugene*) has officially gone down the toilet. i flushed the little booger down just moments ago. good grief. even to this day i still don't really understand the point of friendster. but maybe it's just me. oh, how i miss the days of the pen and paper. and actually meeting people in person, instead of this crazy "6 degrees of separation" garbage. (what the heck is a degree of separation? you either know a person or you don't. don't give me this "i know you through my friend's brother's relative's cousin's neice's sister's friend" stuff. why not? well, 1) because it's way too confusing, and 2) at the end of it all, we still don't know each other (i mean c'mon, let's be honest here)...

oh well, as i said before - maybe it's just me. :)

in any case the friendster and sharon connection has been terminated. *say it like arnold would. it sounds cooler that way.* :P

thank you :)

so my jazz concert was yesterday - thanks to everyone who came out, it really meant a lot to have you guys there. :) even though i might not have looked it, i was pretty stressed out on the inside. guess all those performances for yamaha when i was younger paid off after all. :P when performing, it's all about looking calm and confident, even when you feel like you wanna barf. ;)

*side note: those guys upstairs are really loud. they keep on falling down. tonight alone i must have heard at least 3 big thuds. they really need to be more careful...oh. i think that they just fell down again. :P

Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be Done.

I originally didn't want to go to Urbana 2003. Spiritually, I was in a place where I didn't even want to be surrounded by so many Christians and when the time came for us to go I was so far from Him - so far from our Father, so far from my Creator. I was unsatisfied with the life that He created for me, unsatisfied with the things in which He had blessed me with, and I was unsatisfied with every part of me. I was thirsting for something more...i just didn't know what that "something" was.

I went to New York to visit my sister (see my past blog), and seeing Liz and having my family altogether again helped me quite a bit. It didn't bring me closer to God, but I felt "free" in the sense that I was away from everything and I was with my parents and my sister. I left New York not wanting to go to Urbana and my attitude to go was all wrong. I figured, because it was so much money and I had already paid it all I'd just suck it up and go and see where God would take me from there.

Now that I'm back from Urbana I can honestly say that I am truly thankful that I went. I started off not wanting to go at all, but in the end I couldn't wait to come back - not because I didn't want to be at the conference anymore, but because I wanted to put into practice what I had learned, and the things that God had impressed upon my heart there.

Being with my blood family had helped me in the sense that I felt happy and secure with them, but I left New York by myself feeling alone and weary to be coming back to Toronto. But being surrounded by and worshiping with 20,000 of my brothers and sisters of Christ and being saturated with the presence of the Holy Spirit at Urbana filled up the void, and left me feeling secure in Christ, satisfied and renewed. Coming back to Toronto the second time, I'm excited to see the places in which God will lead me. I know there will be challenges that will come my way but with the help, guidance, patience and love of Our Heavenly Father, all things are possible. With regards to figuring out what i was thirsting for, I finally figured it out. "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." - Psalm 42:1 I had been searching for so long it seemed only to find that it was in front of my face the whole time. Father, thank You.

something more ::switchfoot

Augustine just woke up with a broken heart
All this time he's never been awake before
At 31 his whole world is a question mark
All this time he's never been awake before

Watching dreams that he once had
Feed the flame inside his head
In a quiet desperation of the emptiness
He says

*Chorus:
"Theres gotta be something more
Than what I'm living for
I'm crying out to you" (2x)

Augustine
All his fears keep falling out
All this time he's never been awake before
Finding out his old dreams aren't panning out
All this time he's never been awake before

But he's mad to be alive
And he's dying to be met
In a quiet desperation of the emptiness
He says*

Something more

Hey, I give it all away
Nothing I was holding back remains
Hey, I give it all away
Looking for the grace of God today*

my farewell to the city that never sleeps...

and just like that, my week long trip to new york city has come to an end. *sniff* it's been a great week. i came here not really liking this city...but...now that i've been here, walked the sidewalks, viewed the buildings, taken rides on the subway, i'm relunctant to go. i'm gonna miss the bustling, the hustling, the elbowing - everything minus the filth and dirtyness of the city. :P hahaha. in any case, i never thought that i'd say this but, i'm gonna miss this city.

highlights:
- getting here safely. (i rode the plane. all by my lonesome.) haha :P
- seeing lizhead. :)
- seeing lotr III with liz
- seeing maxine, and auntie juliana
- shopping (i love the shopping here. i need to get a job. then come back.)
- squishing four of us into a little apartment
- NBC/Rockefeller Centre Tour

*sigh* it was fun. quite the fun trip. but, sadly it has come to an end. my next adventure? urbana 2003.

p.s. merry Christmas everyone. see u boogers real soon. :)

my sister, the freelance musician...

i'm so happy for you lizhead!!! :D *cheering*

i'll have to blog more another time...i have an exam in 2 hours...

but in any case, good luck on your finals everyone! or better yet...wait. what am i supposed to say again instead instead of "good luck"? God speed? bahhhh. i forgot. :P

"i'm an alien. a legal alien."

(nobody says it better than sting).

this is how i feel like sometimes. like a legal alien. like an englishman in new york. well, minus the fact that i'm not english, a guy or in new york. *technicalities, technicalities* :P

anyone wanna go away with me? maybe to fields of gold? haha. i'm so cheese. i love it.

speaking of new york, if you're reading this Liz....i'm thinking of YOU! * and listening to sting in the van in boston. and all the other silly things that happened/we did in boston this past summer. ("if you're listening whoa...*enter drums, electric guitar, bass and crazy headbanging*" hehehe.) wish i could go back. wish i could be there with you right now...can't wait until Christmas... :)

what u may not have known about loopoo town. :)

- the squirrels here are fearless. fearless.
- seagram has the BEST leaves on the sidewalk. yay crunchy! :) i LOOOOOOVE it.
- there's a new sidewalk on one side of lester
- it looks super great in fall and winter
- there are no snow flurries here. just snow storms.

today at volunteering i was standing outside in the park watching the kids, when all of a sudden i realized that my hands were numb. numb inside my mittens. they're usually cozy in there. this can only mean one thing...

who's ready for winter? :)

oh midterms...

so my week of death has officially started.
monday: skills, theory (listening)
tuesday: child developmental psychology, music history
wednesday: theory (written analysis)
thursday: paper due for intro to music therapy

oh gosh. time to go to theory. please pray for me....thanks. :)

good luck on your midterms everyone!

Already Complete.

*for the guys, just sub in the appropiate words. same message. :)*

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn`t mean you shine any less. Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can`t be topped, doesn`t stop you from being the best. Just because no one has come along to share your life,doesn`t mean that day isn`t coming. Just because no one has made this race worth while, doesn`t give you permission to stop running. Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are,doesn`t mean they can affect your femininity. Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away, doesn`t mean you have to settle for a lower quality. Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn`t mean you have to sink to theirs. Just because you deserve the very best there is,doesn`t mean that life is always fair. Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn`t mean that you`re not already a queen. Just because your situation doesn`t seem to be progressing right now, doesn`t mean you need to change a thing. Keep shining, Keep running, Keep hoping, Keep praying, Keep being exactly what you are already; complete.

top tens.

top 10 things essential in university:
10. calendar.
9. bright lightbulbs. none of this wimpy 40watt stuff.
8. a desk lamp that actually works properly.
7. box of cheap papermate blue pens. *i love these.*
6. posters. lots of them. cover nasty walls.
5. pictures. to cover up parts of walls that posters can't.
4. slippers. definite must.
3. toothbrush and soap/shampoo/conditioner (obvious. but easily forgotten.)
2. computer.
1. kraft dinner. *mmmmmm. :d my new best friend.*

top 10 things i miss from home:
10. showering in bare feet
9. all the lights in my room. 100watt lightbulb lights. :)
8. tv. in general. with superchannels. and tlc. (probably better we don't have tv here...) :P
7. the posters on my wall.
6. driving. so much more convenient. especially on rainy days.
5. having a washroom for myself (when liz isn't there...)
4. the rest of my warm clothes. (it's freezing up here now.)
3. grand piano. these practice room pianos suck.
2. mommy's cooking. :d
1. my room. :)

top 10 things i should be doing right now:
10. practicing piano. (maybe not. it's too late.)
9. reading.
8. reading.
7. reading.
6. being more productive.
5. reading.
4. reading.
3. reading.
2. reading.
1. reading.

oh gosh. the life of a university student. *sigh* better get to that reading. have a great day y'all...bye! :D