music and bubbletea

tonight my church had a fundraiser for habitat for humanity. there were three performers and i was one of them...errr, to be completely honest, i was more like last minute add-in. oh well, at least i got to share my music with everyone. :) i ended up singing a song i wrote myself this afternoon (i was literally a last minute add-in.) there's something about performing an original piece of music in front of people that is so much more intimidating than performing a precomposed song. it's as if during the moments the music is playing, your heart is completely vulnerable and at the mercy of the audience. it was my first time singing one of my own songs in front of people so i was pretty nervous. i was scared that everyone would hate it or think it was cheesy, but it turned out ok. people actually liked it! (and no one said anything about it sounding cheesy at all.) *phew*

anyway, afterwards some of us went to tenren's for some bubbletea. yum! it was quite the entertaining conversation; we reminisced about old memories, uncovered juicy information about a certain someone (heehee), met new people, and saw familiar faces. after laughing until my cheeks hurt, talking until my voice started to get a little hoarse, and finishing the last of my strawberry milk tea, i decided to call it a night and head home. what a long day.

all in all, a great night. :)

trying something new.

i decided tonight that it was time to change the look of my blog. i was getting a little bored of the other one and was going to do something about it earlier, but just never got around to it. i've always wanted to try a white background so i thought what the hey, (do people still even say that anymore? i'm so hip it hurts.) i'll try it. as of now i don't know how much i like this "new look" but meh. at least it's different.
_____________________

on a completely different note:

liz is coming back from africa soon! tomorrow in the afternoon/evening to be exact. we're going to the airport to pick her up tomorrow. i can't wait for the stories and pictures, as i'm sure there will be many. :)

groan. ughh. sigh. shake.

these are the sounds of a frustrated individual who groans at the amount of job ads there are to sift through, goes ughh because about 95% are useless to them, sighs because upon a closer examination the majority of the remaining job postings aren't that great either, and as a result shakes their fist at the job market.

job hunting must be one of the most frustrating, tidious, and time consuming processes known to mankind, although i'm sure counting a gazillion tiny grains of rice only to realize that you've lost count with only about 10 rice grains to go would be worse. WAY worse.

haha, now THAT would suck. :)

counting my blessings...

an open door number three...

a couple of weeks ago i went for an interview at bloorview kids rehab (formerly known as bloorview macmillan children's centre) for the part-time music therapy internship position. at the time the supervisor said that there were other applicants, so she wouldn't have an answer for me until early may sometime (my interview was during the last week of april). bloorview was the only internship site that really caught my eye and attention, and as a result it was the only one i actually applied for. needless to say i was pretty nervous while i waiting for her answer. well, i got a call her from her on wednesday and it turns out that i got the internship! :D

*h u g e sigh of relief*

so after everything that has happened leading up to this point, i'm 100% convinced that God's plan for my life includes me working in music therapy for at least another year or so. two months ago i would have disliked this plan (my plan was to leave the field for good), but today i couldn't be any happier, excited, or feel any more at peace with the ways things turned out. sure at times i still feel a little nervous and confused over some things, but ultimately i know that i'm in good hands and that makes everything ok. :)
_____________________

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

goodbye waterloo...

seems like yesterday i was a froshie moving into waterloo college hall. now i'm graduating and moving out of the town which, over the past four years, has become my "home". it feels so surreal.

back in first year my floor don gave us all a sheet of blue paper with a poem written on it. i don't really remember what it said, but i do remember the last line which read, "university is about learning: learning how to live."

that statement is so true. many lessons were learned during my four years here. i'm thankful for all the experiences, good and bad, i've had during university as they have all impacted the way i live now in one way or another. some experiences were tougher to go through than others, but i can say that i've learned something from all of them and in the end, that's what's most important. anyway, these are a few of the lessons that God has taught me along the way. :)

top five life lessons i've learned in university:
5. learn to let things go: you can't hang onto everything, that will only eat you from the inside out. pick your battles wisely.
4. think before you speak: not only can words really build someone up, they can hurt a reputation, break a heart, and even destroy a person if you're not careful.
3. balance: balance is key. all work and no play is boring, but all play and no work is just dumb.
2. know your limits: have a clear idea of what your limits are and stick to them. some compromises just aren't worth it.
1. be REAL: don't be afraid to be yourself. people can usually tell when someone is being phony or trying too hard. eventually everyone's true colours shine through no matter how hard people might try to hide them. just be yourself and when you do, you'll know that the people who like you, like you for being you. :)

door number two is closed too.

i love music, i really do. i'm soon-to-be graduating with a BMT (bachelor of music therapy) & BA Psych, and in retrospect i'm glad that i chose the option i did, but the road to where i'm at now has been tough, long, and full of resistance...from me.

i realized today that throughout my whole life, i've constantly tried to run away from music. i've tried different things, but i've never been able distance myself from it. in elementary school i did this by refusing to fill out the arts york program applications until the morning of the day it was due (and even so it was only because liz made me); in high school i did this by originally applying for only science programs; and in university it was applying to masters programs in speech-language pathology for post-grad education.

well, all my attempts failed: i ended up going to unionville high school for their arts york piano program, then going to wilfrid laurier university for music (then eventually music therapy), and i didn't get into any of the schools i applied to for speech-language pathology. i don't believe in coincidences, so it's not by chance that any of these things happened. with all that in mind, i can't help but ask myself why i'm so reluctant to enter into the music field when He has guided me this far, and has equipped me with musical skills.

to make a long explanation short, i'm scared.

just call me Jonah. maybe this, my not getting into speech, was my big fish...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11

...but even jonah eventually learned that with God's help he could overcome his own personal baggage and follow God's plan for his life right? i suppose now it's my turn.

where You lead me, i will follow...

lccf grad night 2006.

9 grads + the greatest fellowship + the greatest alumni + great videos + awesome performances by froshies, tracy, and sam (euni and allie) + honest and from the heart sharing + cake + craziness in the caf + jamming and signage of books = a night to remember.

thanks so much everyone for making this night so incredibly special. thanks for all the preparation, thought, sweat, and love that went into making this night happen; i wouldn't have changed a thing. this community is SO special. i've said this before a million times, but i'll say it again: i love you all so much. :)

L C C F.

so yesterday was my last lccf as a laurier student. all i can is, wow. it is certainly something special, and i'm sooooo excited for them in terms of what's to come next year...and the year after that...and so on. God has been working in and through the people of lccf in both macro and micro levels, in terms of our growth as a community, and growth as unique individuals which make up our fellowship.

over the last four years i've learned over and over again that attaining a perfect community is impossible. lccf is not perfect; it's made up of a group of imperfect people so it will never be "perfect". there will always be struggles, and growing pains to deal with, but it is in our imperfections where true community is tested and developed, faith is strengthened, God's power is made perfect and as a result, people are transformed.

true community is not about perfect people coming together to form a perfect community. instead, i believe true community is about imperfect people coming together in love to help one another, live life together, and encourage each other to continue striving towards being like Jesus, the ultimate perfect being.

Love, Christ-centred, Community, Family...these are a few of the things i think of when i think of lccf - the fellowship comprised of people who, over the past four years, have been my community, my second family, and my home away from home.

LCCF winter retreat 2006 @ Camp Ganadoweh

thanks for all the memories, i love you guys. :)

two squished bugs, one grossed-out girl.

today i smushed two bugs. it was so grosssssssss. and now i'm going to share both stories with you!

bug story #1: "in the john"
so i was in the bathroom, when all of a sudden i saw a dark movement on my leg. i immediately started to freak out (silently so i wouldn't wake up any potential sleepers in the house because it was early), and hit and brushed off my leg. at that point this huge spider fell onto the floor (well, not HUGE, but big enough) so i promptly squished it with my slipper. then picked it up with toilet paper, threw it into the toilet and flushed.
bye bye spider.

bug story #2: "on my door"
i was walking into my room when all of a sudden i froze because there was this really wierd looking bug on it. it was kinda long, had long antennae and a few legs popping out of its body. *shudders* i almost dropped my juice on the floor, but somehow i managed to put it on my dresser. then i got some tissue, and was just about to smush the stupid thing and then it flinched. *AGHHH!* i gathered up my courage and promptly smushed it before i lost my nerve. i felt the guts explode out of its body. then i ran downstairs to the toilet, threw in the kleenex and flushed.
bye bye wierd bug on my door.

please let tomorrow be a bug free day. PLEASE. :P

"time to say goodbye to meeeee!"

heehee. this is what my client sang in our last music therapy session during the goodbye song. (the original lyrics go, "it's time to say goodbye [insert client name here]".) i was watching the video of our session as i was working on my session notes, and i couldn't help but laugh outloud.

i can't really go into any details due to confidentiality reasons, but believe you me, my client is truly a m a z i n g. :)

only two more sessions to go. i'm gonna miss them.