one minute too late...

i showered for too long. :(

the birthday of one of the most important people in my life is march 13th. she has been there from day one. literally. she's clothed me, fed me, bathed me, and cleaned up my barf and poo. :) heehee. she is like no other. never hesitating to help me. never ceasing to love me...

i love you mommy.

happy birthday [o3.13.o3]. :)

update: praise God!!!! she's okay!!! :) *phew* thank you Lord!

God was there...

He was there at fellowship (LcCF) tonight.
He was there in the beginning.
He was there as people trickled in.
He was there through the worship.
He was there when my friend went through something wierd.
He was there as helplessly i watched her eyes roll to the back of her head.
He was there as i heard her saying she couldn't move.
He was there as i just sat there in shock not knowing what to do.
He was there as a sister in Christ came and knew exactly what to do.
He was there as they lifted her in her chair and carried her out of the room.
He was there as everyone else prayed.
He was there when the ambulance came.
He was there as everyone prayed some more.
He was there when i finally realized that God had everything under control.
He was there when i finally realized that God knew what was going to happen.
He was there when i finally realized that God had planned everything out.
He was there when i finally realized that He placed someone at LCCF tonight who knew what to do in a situation like this one.
He was there when i finally realized that God works in even more amazing ways than i thought.

please pray for my friend. i'm not sure what happened to her tonight, but God does know. He knows everything. He's wonderful like that. thanks.

just another bleh day.

i'm supposed to be in music history class right now, but my tummy is hurting me...so i'm gonna take a nap after i'm done blogging. velsie stayed over her from sunday-monday and that was super times. :) she slept over in my dorm and so we started talking...and we kind just talked through the whole night. literally. we just talked and the next thing, the sun came up, my alarm went off and it was time for morning classes. ahhaha. it was great though. :) good times with velsie!

i had a make up piano lesson yesterday, and i'd have to say that i think it was possibly the worst piano lesson i've had here at laurier. the ultimate worst. it was the first time i looked at the clock and wanted my lesson to be over. the worst part is, i actually practiced too. :( but it definitely didn't show. i hate getting disappointing looks from teachers. especially teachers that i like. so i left feeling pretty discouraged. i'm still feeling kinda discouraged. and with all the pre-registration stuff coming out, there more stress. not to mention my history paper that i need to start on (it's due next week). i think i'm gonna go to library tonight. there's so much stuff to do. so many things on my mind.

argh. i give myself much unnecessary stress. and out of all days, my tummy picks this one to feel wierd and strange...today is definitely a bleh one.

lifesong.

so lifesong has come and gone. (lifesong is basically a coffeehouse-type thing put on by uwccf). i think that the night was very powerful. very moving at times. very good. :) i sang the ruth ling song (posted below). i managed to pull a sharon and forget some words but i guess that's pretty irrelevant compared to why i was singing the song in the first place. even though i made mistakes, i hope that God was pleased with my attitude and my heart. and i hope that He still is.

it's really hard sometimes when people compliment you. i've always had some difficulty responding to compliments about my piano playing or stuff like that. and i think that after a while it becomes tougher to truly give God the full credit. it's one thing to externally show humbleness, but it's a whole different story to be humble internally. i view myself as an instrument. for my piano playing, it's not really me playing, but rather it's only my fingers. the music that comes out is God's doing. same with voice - my vocal chords, but it's not really my singing. (if that makes sense). but sometimes, when you get a lot of positive feedback, it can go to your head and then all of a sudden you find yourself thinking otherwise. that's where the problem occurs. but then on the other hand, when you start getting all proud of yourself for being so humble...you're being prideful again. it's something that i've struggled with in the past. and just something that came up after lifesong. compliments in themselves are not bad, but it's the way in which the compliments are absorbed when things have the potential to get bad. i pray that God will have mercy on me and continue to humble me and break my heart for Him.

i think that ruth "said" it best after she played her piece that she composed for her baptism testimony. (it was a different song). my sister was showing me the video and when she finished and everyone was applauding, she didn't bow. she didn't smile big and take all the credit. she actually didn't say anything. instead, she just pointed towards Heaven and directed all the clapping and the praise towards God.

awesome. i hope that my finger will always be pointed towards Heaven - directing the positive feedback or compliments i receive to the One who really deserves them all.

ruth ling | How Can I Not

Who am I, for You to want me as You do
Loving me as I am
Who am I, for You to touch me as You do
Reaching out both Your hands
Who am I, for You to bear my burdens
Lifting again and again
Tell me how could I not love You
With all that i have

*How can I not love You
How can I not care
Through the valleys of the shadows of death
it's You who hasn't left
Tell me how can I not love You
With all that I have

WHo am I, for You to save me as You do
Paying the price that's due
Who am I, for You to love me as You do
Giving me life that's true
Who am I, for You to have the patience
molding again and again
Tell me how can I not love You
With all that I have

*
With all that I have
How can I not

this is the song that me and justin will the playing at lifesong. to me, this song is so powerful - in it's words and it's music. so passioante. ruth is such a talented musician - she has definitely been blessed abundantly in music. i hope that others will be as touched by the song (not necessarily how it's sung - heehee...because i'll be singing it - but in it's lyrics) as i was when i first heard it.

for more info on ruth and her music, check out www.ruthling.net :)

warm fuzzies...

for some reason, tonight i feel all warm and fuzzy. i like things. :) i'm appreciating lots. friends, my sister, my parents...even my dorm. haha. i dunno, there's something about my dorm, that makes it cozy. although the walls are cement, the space is small and there's no carpet. it's cozy. and it's quite the lazy man room. lemme explain:

desk: one step away from the bed.
sink: two steps away from the front of the bed.
window: one step away from the bed (beside the desk, along with the shelves)
closet space: mmm. maybe 4 little steps away from the bed
washroom: three steps away from bed

mind you, these are all measured in my steps. ahhaha. see? small room, but also cozy. notice how everything is measured relative to my bed. the most important and most used spot of my room. heehee. anyway, so there's just something about tonight that is giving me the warm fuzzies. AND i just finished my theory assignment. :) now the only thing left to worry about is my recital that's tomorrow (technically today), which i have spent the weekend and this week practicing for...i've been practicing around 2 hours a day pretty much ever since my history exam last thursday. i really hope that it pays off...still gotta cut my nails. can't forget. it doesn't sound good when you play piano and all you hear are fingernails hitting the keys. so dirty. ahhaha. i know you guys needed to hear that. :P

anyway, so today i read my friend, edmond's, blog and he asked a really good question - "how many times have you thought of God today?" well, today i thought about God when i woke up, and before i ate my meals. that's pretty pathetic. considering that sometimes i don't even think of God when i wake up. if you add up the time i spent thinking about Him, it would probably equal like...less than 5 mins. maybe 6 mins. tops. well...there's 24 hours in a day. hopefully tomorrow will be better. his question really struck me though. it struck me good.

so i guess i'll end with the same question (hope u don't mind ed!)..."how many times have you thought about God today?" hope your answers are better than mine was. g'nite! :)

o3.o3.o3...

well i'm a day late in blogging. so since nothing has happened so far today (i basically woke up and watched gilmore girls on my computer...) i'll just fill y'all in on the events of yesterday.

me and alli led women's cell. it was really good! we led it on "quiet time" - and how it's really important for a healthy relationship with God. i just pray that i'll be able to really apply what i led - because i don't want to be hypocritical. so today when i woke up i spent a few moments just talking with God and praying. so that was nice. :) i hope that continues...

yesterday was also our (justin and me's <-- haha. so grammatically incorrect.) 6 month. :) Happy 6 months! glad we made it this far...thanks for everything.

uhmmm...that was pretty much it. i had a pretty busy day yesterday...i pretty much only saw my dorm for like...15mins in between the hours of 1:30-11:30. but that's alright. yesterday was super productive. :) alright. i'll blog more later...but for now, i've gotta get to the practice rooms and practice some more piano! i need to play my piece in front of my masterclass (we have a masterclass recital) tomorrow...bye everyone! have a great day. :)

in my Father's arms...

i was thinking about this concept today during sunday service at CFC. Ken Taylor spoke about Jesus and who He really was. He mentioned how Jesus was fully God, as well as fully human - which meant while he was in fact, human (like you and me) He still posessed all his God-like qualities (all the "omnis") he chose not to use some while he lived on Earth. for example, he chose not to be able to be in 1000 places at once, just one. he also chose not to have simultaneous conversations with 2 million people at once...you get the point...

however. please note that Jesus CHOSE not to use all His power. it's not that he couldn't. he chose not to. there's a big difference.

so yah. as i was saying, i was thinking of how great it is to have a God in heaven that is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent (and all the other omnis. hahaha. i remember there being more, i just don't remember what they are right at this moment). whenever i'm down or lonely, sad or broken, i always imagine myself climbing onto God's lap, His loving loving arms (the same ones that created the world) engulfing me and His love penetrating through every part of my being. when i'm sitting there God gives me 100% of His attention. this is what i always pictured but up until today, i didn't really understand the power and wonder of God through this little picture of mine. you see, i now realize that whenever i'm up there sitting on my Heavenly Father's lap, with His arms wrapped around me, so are 213049874325789213 other children of God. and yet, God gives us each 100% of his attention. 100% of his ears. 100% of his love. and while we sit there with God's arms wrapped around each and everyone of us, comforting us, protecting us, each pair of arms is God's arms. how great Thou Art.

In my Father's arms is me - someone who cries there, a human who hurts there, a girl who laughs there, a child who finds her ultimate security and best friend there. In my Father's arms are billions of my brothers and sisters in Christ, each with their own trials and problems but each of us receiving 100% of God's attention. how many people do you know that can do that? exactly.

my Father's arms are like no other.

another week gone...

and just like that, my saturday is over. my week has officially come to a close. this week has been one of great stress. but that was only until thursday. after thursday it was great. :) doesn't matter than i might not have done very well on my music history midterm. whatever. at least it's over and the nights spent listening to gregorian chant will now cease. *sigh of relief*

never did like the medieval babes.

so today i practiced piano for two hours because my masterclass recital is coming up and my hands/fingers totally did not want to cooperate with me (since i didn't really touch the piano all reading week, and this week too). being in music isn't as easy as some people may think! actually, it's probably harder than people may think. much harder. :P the opera at my school was tonight, but i didn't go. i dunno...i've never really been a big fan of the opera *eeks! sorry erica!* it's probably because i don't know enough about it to fully appreciate everything that's going on. yah. that's probably it. then i watched two towers with justin. soooo good. the wait was worth it. :) some parts are scary though. why must the characters be so ugly? except for legolas (the guy with the arrows). he's so dreamy. i didn't think so for the first one, but in this one he was just so cool. hahaha

i've been in such a good mood lately. i'm not sure why. like, just this week i was looking out the window during a sunset and everything just felt so...right. i can't explain. i guess that i was just truly content. :) i haven't felt that way in a while. God's been good to me this year. i really can't deny it. there have been times where things have just really sucked, but He's pulled me through it all. and He'll continue pulling me through as long as i tightly hang on to His hand and let Him lead me on. i love Phillipians 4:11-13. i wrote out the passage and stuck it on the wall beside my bed as a reminder. oh that Paul. so good. :)

anyway, church is tomorrow so i should probably get some sleep so i won't be sleepy throughout the service tomorrow. so g'nite everyone :)

p.s. oh. and yesterday i solved my dinner dilemma. out of nowhere i had a craving for chinese food so i went out and got some chinese take out from China Garden. heehee. and in the process i learned how to say two types of noodles in chinese there from the restaurant owner guy (i think). i really need to learn what the different types of noodles are called... :d