it's the most wonderful time of the year...

let's not forget the true meaning of this special day this year...it was quite the big thing that happened 2004 years ago.

i think over the years i have come to respect mary all that much more. when i was younger i remember not really thinking about it too much, but as i've grown older i think that i've understood more the extent of what she did - the "hugeness" of her task. i can't even begin to think what mary must have been thinking on the days leading up to the birth of Jesus Christ. my gosh. it's one thing to be expecting a firstborn, but to expect your firstborn...who is the Lord of all Creation? i know i would have been terrified. and this is me talking now, as a twenty-one year old. i can't imagine having to go through what mary must have gone through as a sixteen year old girl...so strong. what a task. what a heart. what an honour.

but what's more amazing, is what God did. i mean, God gave His only son to the world that night - "giving" in the sense that for the next thirty-something years He would leave heaven and live on earth. imagine letting your son live in a world that you know will reject Him. imagine letting your son live amongst people who will despise him, and abandon Him when He needs them the most. imagine letting your only son live a world that would ultimately kill Him. imagine letting your son going through all this, knowing fully that this would happen to Him. most parents would transfer their kid from one school to the next if they were aware that their child was a victim of constant bullying. most parents would tell their kids to stay away from those whom they think would even possibly hurt them.

God sent His son to this world, and that night 2004 years ago was the start of something extraordinary - the beginning of Jesus Christ's life here on earth.

have yourself a very merry Christmas. :)

________________________________________________________

labour of love

It was not a silent night, there was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry in the alley way that night,
on the streets of David's town.
And the stable was not clean, and the cobblestones were cold,
And little Mary full of grace, with the tears upon her face,
And no mother's hand to hold

It was the labour of pain, it was a cold sky above
For the girl in the ground in the dark, every beat of her beautiful heart,
Was a labour of love

Noble Joseph at her side, calloused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found, in the streets of David's town,
In the middle of the night.
So he held her and he prayed, shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in the womb, was the maker of the moon,
He was the author of the faith that could make the mountains move.

It was a labour of pain, it was a cold sky above,
For the girl on the ground in the dark, every beat of her beautiful heart,
Was a labour of love
Little mary full of grace, and the tears upon her face,
Was a labour of love.

It was not a silent night,
On the streets of David's town.

just another day at the...athletic complex?

in case any of you have any wierd ideas or visualizations of this girl (me) lifting weights, or running on a treadmill, let me crush that thought with this one: the only time i go to the AC here is if i am writing an exam there. hahha. i know, it's a waste, but that's just how things have worked out so far. who knows? maybe in the future i'll go there, and um...do the stuff there that people do, but until then, you'll only see me there with a pen, pencil, eraser, writing an exam.

anyway, i had my last exam today! :) nevertheless, my trip there was quite eventful. with my three hours of sleep, i kept spacing out and during my spaced out periods i would catch random things happening in the exam room.

newbie procter:
poor newbie procter. he had no idea what to do with those green sign-in sheets. i know what you're thinking, how can you mess up the sign-in sheets? ladies and gentlemen, let me just let you know, that it IS possible to mess this up. about 1 hour into the exam after a whole truckload of people had gone, i saw him go up to my teacher and say something about the sheets. all of a sudden my teacher was like, "you're not supposed to let them go without signing in. never. now our count [of the students doing their exams] will be off." heehee. apparently newbie proctor hadn't finished his rounds, and students in his row just upped and left. i think that my teacher was a little annoyed with that. ahhaha. poor new proctor man. he was told in front of the whole gym. although, probably not a lot of people heard it...mainly because i was sitting in the second row, and like...listening to what they were saying. haha. *cough* anyway...moving on.

procter/teacher with the loud shoes:
there's nothing worse than sitting in a quiet exam room, when all of a sudden you hear "click clock click clock". (excuse my poor sound description, i didn't know how else to describe the annoying clatter of this procter's heels.) not only that, it seemed as though she thoroughly enjoyed the sound of her shoes, and proceeded to walking everywhere possible. ahhhhh! i was gonna go insane. almost wanted to rip off her shoes and throw them out the window. hehehe. click clock click clock. i had three hours of sleep, and this morning a car alarm went off outside my window. ahhhh. i just didn't want anymore unnecessary noise, u know? i think there should be a rule, that procters can't wear heels. actually, i'm not sure if she was a procter. i think she may have been the italian teacher. argh. good thing i want to take spanish. :P

jacket thief?:
alright, so during another time when i had spaced out during my exam, i saw some girl standing by my stuff, and she kinda just dumped my jacket on the floor when she was getting her stuff. so i was kinda like, grrr. (the floor is gross!) but then she put it onto the table behind her so it was okay...until...she picked up my jacket and took off. meanwhile, i was sitting in my chair having a heartattack. literally. i mean, what could i do?! i was writing my exam!!!! i felt so helpless. so, i did the only thing i could think of doing and raised my arm in desperation. well, 5 seconds later, i saw the girl come back, and put my jacket on the floor and pick up another jacket that looks EXACTLY like mine from the floor beside it. which is wierd, because my jacket isn't exactly the most common, u know what i mean? so what are the chances that i happened to put my stuff down beside hers? anyway, so later when i was picking up my stuff, i realized that the unintentional jacket thief must have noticed that the jacket she picked up wasn't hers, because i had stuffed my scarf into my jacket sleeve. ahh. so glad that i picked up that habit in junior kindergarten and it stuck. :) *phew* in any case, i have my jacket. things are good.

and who said laurier wasn't eventful? haha. :P

wow. third year is half over. where did the time go?

just a little something...

i thought this was funny....so random. so witty. i love it. hahaha

rock on, you crazy kids. ;)

happy studying for finals everyone...hang in there, Christmas is almost here! :D

*shake shake shake*

here's a little something i thought was funny...click here, and go nuts with the shaking. ;)

great time waster.

alright, my break is up. time to beat up my books! bye!

oh g-strings...

so today i broke my first ever acoustic guitar string. i was practicing the worship set today with spammie before fellowship began, and all of a sudden there was a *snap*. i stopped and was a little confused at first, but then i realized that i had snapped the G string. then i felt stupid and embarassed. unfortunately, i didn't have any extra strings with me, but fortunately nevin was kind enough to lend me his guitar to use during worship. *thanks nevin!*

phew. i'm glad it didn't happen during worship. i wouldn't know what to do...perhaps i would put the guitar down and walk around the room aimlessly. uhm...yah. gotta love awkwardness. ;) hahaha

anyway, i thought that it was blogworthy to mention my first ever guitar string breakage! justin said he was very proud of me. :)

so b l u e.

a reminder that we need to be lights amongst the darkness - this world needs us to be.

_____________________________________________

downhere | so blue

Shallow capacity is bearing all I see, and I know
It's disease, it's loss, it's death knocking at my door
I click these thoughts to something else, something more.

I'm so blue, you're so blue.

Detached harmonies, all the airways scream dissonance
And we know of broken life, broken homes,
Broken hearts and broken bones,
Recycling the paper of a crying world's suicide note and
We're so blue, so blue.

See the world spinning round
A sucking hole that souls go down
Embrace the sorrow of today because repentance finds a way
Only His blood can heal our wounds
Only His blood can heal our wounds
And if repentance finds a way, what's left today to be.….blue?

A final symphony,
The precipice too close, you're scaring me -- back away
Sin is real, it doesn't feel, It always, only always, steals.
Run to the cross the only joy that's real.

u r b a n a.

wow. i was taking a look at the urbana website after receiving updates via e-mail from them, and i ended up at the past urbanas section...and i started to feel a little overwhelmed with something rather. i can't explain it but something in me was definitely touched. i didn't CRY. but my eyes did get a little watery...why? check this out.

did you know...

- the first urbana convention was back in 1946 and it took place at the university of TORONTO. wooot. :)
- there were 575 delegates at the first urbana conference (urbana 1946).
- at urbana 2003 there were more than 20 000 delegates and some had to be turned away due to lack of accomodations
- urbana is MOVING out of urbana-champaign, illinois (although they're still keeping the name, "urbana" for the mission convention) and into St. Louis, Missouri for MORE space. (and trust me, the university of illinois was m a s s i v e.)

what does this mean? GOD is MOVING. from 575 to 20000+ delegates in LESS than 60 years. unbelievable - and yet so believable at the same time. and that is why for some reason my eyes started watering. His work...His power...it's so amazing it's beautiful.

for those who have never been to urbana before and are thinking of going, you might want to take a look at this. :)

twenty-one.

happy twenty-first birthday justinhead!! *muah* :)

*whaaaaap.*

there are some days when God will just hit you in the face and be like, "do you see now?" and then you'll finally see things in the right perspective and sheepishly say, "oh."

today is one of those days for me.

ever since sunday i've been thinking about ken taylor's sermon. not like, incessantly, but it has been on my mind but i guess i have just been so relunctant to change. the whole, "i didn't do anything wrong" bit. well, maybe i didn't really directly do anything wrong at the time, but doing nothing since then isn't exactly right thing to do either. i remember i was talking on the phone with justin about stuff yesterday, and i was just like....yah yah yah yah. (hehhe. sorry justin.) when he was like making valid and important points that i needed to hear. well i mean, i "heard" them. but i didn't really really hear them, u know? (must have been my "yah yah yah"s.) :( stupid stupid pride. stupid stupid me.

anyway, today God hit me with something. thanks Father, it kinda hurt (my pride mostly), it kinda made me feel stupid, but i needed it. but then again...You already knew that. :)

_____________________________________________

jennifer knapp | refine me

I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain
You're my God and my Father
I've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?

Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?

Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray

Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You

Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me

just for procrastination's sake.

here are two pictures i took last week when it was raining like it was nobody's business one night. (i was just playing around with my camera, trying to get more aquainted with the buttons amongst other things.) anyway, they didn't quite turn out the way i wanted them to, but i think that they still look kinda neat. (teehee, "neat" - who says neat anymore?) AND you can kinda see my room's reflection in the window in one of them. haha. too cool. :P

okay, that is all. enough procrastinating, back to studying...i'm almost done my chapter for the night. good luck on midterms everyone! :)

He is so in control.

it never ceases to amaze me just how God really takes care of everything - the big things, and even the really littles ones too.

His eye is on the sparrow,
and i know He watches over me.

BC missions 2001.

today i took out my pictures from when i went on missions to BC back in summer 2001. all these emotions and memories always flood my mind when i open up my photoalbum. however, i realized today i haven't looked at them in a long time and sadly, i haven't really thought any of the kids i met there in a while. but even worse, i haven't prayed for them in a long time...

they'd all be three years older now, but here are some pictures of the kids...




Father, watch over them.

t h a n k s!!

i don't think that i've ever been more suprised in my life. or have been suprised so many times in such a short span of time. my goodness you guys are sneaky. and once again, i've proved that i really do suck at these things. :P hahah

justin, i don't know how you managed to do it, but you did. thanks again. and again. and again. :) *mugs*

so today i got home from my optometrist appointment/hairdresser. there was still some hair on my shirt (from the hairdressers place. ewwwww. i hate hair) so i took the lint brush and was trying to get all the icky hairs off of me. (ewwww. i hate hair.) i originally started in the kitchen, but then my dad was like "you don't do that here, go upstairs to the bathroom..." so i was like "ok." and up the stairs i went. so i'm in the bathroom trying to look close and hard in the mirror to get rid of every single last iddy biddy piece of loose hair on my shirt when all of a sudden in the mirror i see...

liz!!!!! :D she flew in this morning and was my fourth surprise this week. i was so shocked that i screamed, dropped the lint brush, hugged her super tight...and cried. it's been a while since we've seen each other. oh my goodness. it was crazy. i love my family.

who would have thought that turning twenty-one could be so eventful?

i guess i just wanted to say thanks everyone for all the comments, e-mails, messages, hugs, presents, laughter, cards and surprises! this week was awesome (and yesterday was just crazy.) any birthday girl couldn't have asked for a better one. or for better friends. *HUGS* you guys rock my world. :)

that was a close one.

well, all is well again. phew. that counting/breathing/giving-it-up-to-God thing really does work pretty well... :P

anyway, thanks everyone for tonight. using pre-study as a decoy. and then actually having one afterwards. (good discussion by the way. i know that i learned more things.) ahhahaha. you guys are great! :D

justin, thanks. *muah* :)

breathe.

"...forgiven so that I can forgive..."

take a deep breath. count to 10. give it up to God.

good grief.

m e r c y m e | how great is Your love

My heart is steadfast O God
And I will sing
With all my heart and soul
Music for the King
And I will awake the dawn
With my praise to you O Lord

How great is Your love
So much higher than the heavens
With faithfulness that reaches the sky
How great is Your love
So much higher than the heavens
With faithfulness that reaches the sky
O how great is Your love

Praise the Lord O my soul
And glory to the King
Forever You are robed with majesty
We come to you O Lord
And Lay our praise at your feet

Be exalted O God and let Your glory reign
Be exalted O God and let Your glory reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign

good bye ugly.

wow! laurier has changed the webpage! i went to check my e-mail and BAM. there it was! finally. geeez. that old one was frickin hideous. HIDEOUS. it was purple...with this wierd dot thing in the background. everything looked really bad. did i mention the dots? so ugly. looks sooooo much better now. :)

check out the new and improved (and non-embarassing) website here.

that's right boys and girls, laurier is moving up in the world.

t g i f.

so the first week of classes has come and gone. somehow i managed to keep up with the reading this week...but ugh. i feel so swamped with all this reading i need to do in order keep up with the keeping up. i have a feeling that this whole double major in music therapy and psychology thing might kill me. (methods I is so frickin boring.) but that's ok. i'm ready for the challenge. or at least...that's what i've been telling myself. chin up, right? :P

compared to what my schedule will be like when things really get into full swing, this week has been relatively light. my music therapy placement starts this coming week. :) i'm a little excited...but at the same time i'm completely terrified...i'm so glad that i have a partner. and a good one at that.

all in all, there are no complaints from this girl. God has been sooooo good...He has been taking care of me in every aspect of my life. i was a little worried coming into this year, with me deciding to go ahead with the double major thing, agreeing to be a cell group leader this term for LCCF, being in music therapy (everyone already tells me it's a lot of work on its own) and then working at K-W keys as a piano/keyboard teacher...i was just worried that i wouldn't have time to do everything that i needed to do, and to do everything well. however, He has really reminded me over and over again that He is in control...and that He knows what He's doing - and as long as i do my part (ie. manage my time wisely and do my best in everything)...it'll be okay. :)

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
- jeremiah 29:11-13

oh laurier.

ah, school is back but this time things will be different. crack out the books, and get out the glasses because this year, sharon is gonna be a geekface. ;)

phew, what a weekend.

taken at the MIAC show at the international centre in sauga on sunday and monday

this weekend was hectic, but so fun. i was asked to play synths for a composition being played in a Special Gala Concert at the Living Arts Centre in Missisauga. it was a night to celebrate the dipomatic relations between japan and canada, as well as pay tribute to the great Canadian jazz pianist, Oscar Peterson. anyway, it was nice getting a chance to play with professional musicians (mark kelso - drums, the madawaska string quartet - strings) as well as Francis Li (the composer of the piece.) The piece, Winter Colours, had a kind of europop feel to it, which i thought sounded pretty cool. different, but cool. and it was fun to play - which made it even better. :)

the first half was mainly compositions from Yamaha students (from Canada, Japan and the US) as well as other musicians/pianists from around the Toronto area, but the second half was just...WOW. i met the jazz pianist, Hiromi Uehara, back in 1996 when we were both part of the Yamaha National JOC concert held at the Glenn Gould theatre in TO. she was amazing and blew me away then, but this weekend she made me wanna quit piano altogether. geeeez. so amazing. her style has definitely progressed and developed over the years and...wow. "Hiromi fuses jazz and classical with traditional Japanese music, and injects an element of techno funk with frequent helpings of electronic keyboards. Somehow, she makes it all jell—brilliantly." couldn't have said it any better. the cool thing is that she immediately recognized me as "Liz's sister". :P (apparently we look like twins?) and after telling her bassist, Tony Grey (who was also amazing), that Liz was a Berklee graduate from the same year as them, he realized that he knew her too, from being in some brazilian harmonies class together at berklee. haha. such famous, talented people knowing my sister! wooot! go liz! :D small world. crazy berklee kids. ;)

after the gala concert on saturday, i also played in 4 other mini concerts at the MIAC show held at the international centre on sunday and monday...and it was pretty great getting to talk to some of the other musicians that were there as well as seeing some people from the Yamaha Canada Music Head Office - they actually remembered me! i didn't even think that they knew who i was. :)

anyway, there was one thing that i learned in a big way this weekend:
the music world is frickin big. i knew it was big, but it is so much bigger than i originally thought. as with everything, connections are key.

olympic fever...

ah, so the olympics are here again and they're as exciting as ever! too bad canada isn't doing too great. (hopefully in the days to come, the canadian team will make me eat my words *crossing fingers*.)

so instead, i've been focusing on australia. their swim team is so impressive, but my favourite has to be ian thorpe. for me not the best to look at (haha), but he's definitely great at coming back at the end of races. gooooo thorpedo! AND he's an OCTO baby!!! (which is an added bonus. haha.):D

yay thorpedo!!! the 200m freestyle was great! loved every second of this race! yeeeeah! it was good swimming action. :D haha.

COME ON CANADA. we gotta get another medal. one bronze is just not good enough. :P

peaching picking pictures are up! yay fun times with adrienne, will, judy, ian and steph! click here for pics. :)

kangoojumps

during my lunch break last friday (i spent the day being an rcm theory proctor) i was sitting down on a bench by a waterfountain enjoying the nice weather when all of a sudden this guy gave me a flyer (which i realized after reading promoted the new revolutionary fitness industry product that he was wearing.) at first i thought they were rollerblades, but when i saw him bouncing away (like literally) i knew that they were something else. it was quite a sight, seeing a grown man bouncing along yonge st...

anyway, i checked out the site and they're actually supposed to be really beneficial for your health. plus, it looks fun! :P

new york pictures are up! click here to view them! :)

summer conference 2004

my church's summer conference has come and gone...again. i can't think back to a time when i haven't gone (though they weren't always held every year)...and since i've been going to etcbc my whole life, i've been to quite the number of summer conferences...and my have they changed. maybe it's me. or maybe a bit of both.

anyway despite the fact that we're all getting old (forget about staying up late, we were gone by 2-2:30am), this year was a good one. 5 hero messages (Kent Edwards rocked) and plenty of good times. :) from breaking almost all the rules with adrienne, moving jo's bed onto the desks in our room (good talking times!), and being "good samaritans" by cleaning egg crap off the carpet (haha. silly little girls.) to being one of the first few to hear "the news" ;), seeing joshers again (don't think he reads this, but it was nice seeing him nonetheless - haven't seen him since like high school.) and seeing anita again (yay! my first year laurier heroine!)...this summer conference has been a success.

oh! and i went peach picking! (i'll upload pictures soon hopefully.) :)

(wow. i use a lot of parentheses.) :P

such an eventful weekend. so much to think about and reflect upon...

i'm back!

we came back yesterday at around 11:30-12am. :) so nice seeing the metric system again. there was a beautiful sunset yesterday night, and there were even fireworks that we saw from the highway. (i wonder what the occasion was. so illegal. haha.)

anyway, new york was awesome! fun times! (even though for most of it i had to walk around the city all by my lonesome.) but no complaints here, because it was a great experience - exploring a huge city alone - and i got to do all the things that i wanted to do and more! AND i didn't get mugged. OR shot. haha. i guess new york city isn't as bad as i thought that it was. you just need to be careful.

things i accomplished (this is more for me than for you. haha):
- walked times square (the real one.)
- went to guggenheim
- went to the met
- saw a cinderella story
- went to century 21 (even if only for 10 mins)
- went to the new york public library on 5th ave
- walked in central park (so beautiful. even saw sea otters!)
- saw maxine and auntie juliana
- rode the subway and only went the wrong way ONCE (there are like at least 25 different subway lines! i'm not even joking. or exaggerating. :P
- walked around like there was no tomorrow

i had so much fun. thanks so much liz for being so nice to me and trying to make me feel at home at your apartment. thanks for all those dinners (even though you wouldn't let me pay. :P) thanks for your subway map and for just being the best. we didn't get to go to the brunch place or the museum of modern art...but...we'll go next time!

i remember a time when i used to not like nyc at all, but now i actually miss it. quite a bit. (there's nowhere to walk around here.) but most of all, i miss my jeh jeh.

p.s. liz, hope that you remembered to give my metro card to someone! there's still 2 days left on it :)

mid-trip update

i think out of all the days here in NYC, today has been the most unproductive. so far it's been spent sleeping (got up at around 11 something), listening to liz's music, surfing the internet, and trying to decide whether or not to splurge in an ipod. i've been calculating the cost of buying one in canada and buying one here like there's no tomorrow. i even went to find out what the exchange rate for today was. it's 1.3131. :P haha. it's so tempting. it would save me some money to get one here rather than buy one in canada...and they just came out with a new version! i'm still going back and forth with the whole idea. *sigh* we'll see.

i went to the metropolitan museum of art (aka "the met") yesterday. i took lots of pictures. but i'll have to upload them back at home. i forgot that usb cable thing at home. piece of crap. ;P i originally intended to go to guggenheim as well (it's just a few blocks north on 5th st.) but it was closed. i walked all the way there in the blistering heat and found out that it was closed every thursday. probably for the better though - i walked the met for 2.5 hours straight (with a 30 sec sit down) and my legs wanted to fall off. ah well. at least i'm getting cultured. haha. so hopefully i'll go to guggenheim today. :) it's raining here anyway so it'll be good to spend it inside...

saw a cinderella story with liz at the amc yesterday and i really liked that movie. it was really cute. i want to buy the dvd when it comes out. :) hahaha oh and then afterwards we walked around times square for like an hour trying to find somewhere to eat. when we finally left the restaurant it was like a little past 12 and there were still so many people in times square. i was pretty suprised - i always thought that when people called new york city the "city that never sleeps" they were just exaggerating. silly me.

anyway, i'm meeting up with my cousin maxine later tonight after she gets off work. then we're gonna hang out and later on meet up with lizhead and eat together! (something about a rice pudding resaturant. hmmm. never tried that before.) i haven't seen maxine since Christmas so it'll be nice to see her again. hopefully i'll get to see my "dai-eee-ma" too. :)

okay! so that's the update so far. i'm hungry, so i'm gonna go make my swiss cheese and turkey breast sandwich for lunch. (i've had one everyday for lunch since i've been here.) ha! you laugh now, but i'm saving a lot of money on lunches by making my own! and food is bling bling here. :P anyway the bread, meat and cheese are calling me now. bye! :)

muggy, humid and super hot.

i'm writing this from new york city. if you think that toronto is hot, omg. it's so frickin hot here. it's gross. ewww. but oh well. the trip with anna and alfred was really fun! and i slept for most of it i think. haha. i saw a deer in new jersey. it was like, running around in the neighbourhood like it was nobody's business. kinda wierd.

anyway, tomorrow i'm off to central park (hopefully) and i'm going to bring a book. hahaha. yaY! can't wait. hope it's not TOO bad with the hotness though. alright. there's the update. more to come later. :)

ready to bite the apple. 
  
(so cheese. i love it.)
 
by this time tomorrow i will be in new york city - home of the yankees, rangers and my beloved sister. :) i'm so excited - even though the forecast calls for thunderstorms. meh. how reliable is the weather network anyway? ;) heehee.  regardless of the weather, i'll make the most of it as best as i can. guggenheim, central park, the new york public library (haha. i'm such a geek) are just a few of the places i want to see.  but on the bright side, even if it is raining and i can't go outside there's always mtv. :) 

switchfoot. omg.

went to the switchfoot concert in hamilton last night...

oh they know how to rock.

totally blew me away.

they were amazing.
____________

here's some brainfood for you (emphasis mine). read it. it's good stuff.

WHAT MAKES MUSIC CHRISTIAN? A question was raised to the guys at Switchfoot about why they aren't very direct about their Christianity (specifically not mentioning Jesus) in their songs. Here is Jon Foreman's, the lead singer and primary songwriter, response: It's 2:30am in Philly. We’ve been hitting it hard lately… very hard! The road is long and worthy of resting for. But I just read a question worthy of response. First off, thank you for your compliments. I would love to speak to all of you in person as I've had some great conversations so far this tour and look forward to many more. To be honest, this question grieves me because I feel that it represents a much bigger issue than simply a couple SF tunes. In true Socratic form, let me ask you a few questions: Does Lewis or Tolkien mention Christ in any of their fictional series? Are Bach's sonata's Christian? What is more Christ-like, feeding the poor, making furniture, cleaning bathrooms, or painting a sunset? There is a schism between the sacred and the secular in all of our modern minds. The view that a pastor is more “Christian” than a girls volleyball coach is flawed and heretical. The stance that a worship leader is more spiritual than a janitor is condescending and flawed. These different callings and purposes further demonstrate God’s sovereignty. Many songs are worthy of being written. Switchfoot will write some, Keith Green, Bach, and perhaps yourself have written others. Some of these songs are about redemption, others about the sunrise, others about nothing in particular: written for the simple joy of music. None of these songs has been born again, and to that end there is no such thing as Christian music. No. Christ didn’t come and die for my songs, he came for me. Yes. My songs are a part of my life. But judging from scripture I can only conclude that our God is much more interested in how I treat the poor and the broken and the hungry than the personal pronouns I use when I sing. I am a believer. Many of these songs talk about this belief. An obligation to say this or do that does not sound like the glorious freedom that Christ died to afford me. I do have an obligation, however, a debt that cannot be settled by my lyrical decisions. My life will be judged by my obedience not my ability to confine my lyrics to this box or that. We all have a different calling; Switchfoot is trying to be obedient to who we are called to be. We’re not trying to be Audio A or U2 or POD or Bach: we’re trying to be Switchfoot. You see, a song that has the words: “Jesus Christ” is no more or less “Christian” than an instrumental piece. (I've heard lot's of people say jesus christ and they weren't talking about their redeemer.) You see, Jesus didn’t die for any of my tunes. So there is no hierarchy of life or songs or occupation only obedience. We have a call to take up our cross and follow. We can be sure that these roads will be different for all of us. Just as you have one body and every part has a different function, so in Christ we who are many form one body and each of us belongs to all the others. Please be slow to judge “brothers” who have a different calling and thank you for reading. Oh, to be so young, yet so wise. May God bless Switchfoot.

I'm in total agreement with this. Jon Foreman you are hero material.

Liz, (and anyone else who's interested), i uploaded the pictures from your weekend in toronto. you can find them here. :)

twenty-four...

to the best jeh in the world - HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ!!!! :)

(darn you hello. there was supposed to be a picture here, but i can't figure out how to use you. argh.)

perfect timing.

all I gotta say is...You're so awesome.

post-encounter

GOD IS...

good
awesome
powerful
so faithful
the "prayer answerer"
the breaker of barriers
the equalizer of the unequal

phew. what an amazing weekend (even with the crazy cold/rainy weather in haliburton and the lack of heating in...every single building we were in). :) just what i needed. still gathering my thoughts from the whole retreat and everything that happened, but i think that it can be summed up in one sentence:

Once again, God knew exactly what I needed.

thanks Father - for knowing me so well, and for leading me to Encounter.

ah-weeeee-eee-eeeee-eeeeee...

A wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a wimoweh

In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle the quiet jungle the lion sleeps tonight

Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight
Near the village the quiet village the lion sleeps tonight

Hush my darling, don't fear my darling. The lion sleeps tonight.
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling. The lion sleeps tonight

oh, how i've missed this one. what a great song. how can you not smile? :)

"feels like hooome to me..."

...because i am home! :) *gotta love using lyrics completely out of the context that they're meant to be in* :P

thought of the day: yesterday i hated packing. today, unpacking is even worse.

but i'm home! so that makes up for it. :D

tiff & amy: i'm missing the csi parties already. :( hahaha.

"and i'm freeeeeeeeeee..."

well, my second year at laurier is officially over!!! :D

good grief time passes by fast in university. anyway, this weekend (so far) has been filled with, good talking times with tiff, CSI...and more CSI. :)

things are good. now all that's left to clean up the mess that the tornado made when it came into my room sometime during the past week or so. funny, how it was only my room that seemed to be effected by this tornado... :P

gundy

i love gundy bear (aka. "gundy").

he's my all-time-favourite-all-star-hug-and-squish-i-love-him-all-the-time bear. (he's a white Gund polar bear looking thing.) :) i've never washed him in the washing machine before - i don't trust them. good grief i wash him by hand and after that's done, i wrap him up in a towel and blow him dry with my hairdryer. (or, at least blow him a little dryer). on the COOL setting so his fur doesn't get all messed up, demented, gross and ugly. i've had him ever since i was little and for as long as i can remember i have been calling him the name which i had so lovingly bestowed upon him, gundy bear. i remember when my best-friend in elementary school received a pink gund bear she wanted to name hers gundy too...

i wouldn't let her. he had to either be gundy jr. or another name completely.

before you think i'm a horrible mean bitter person, hear me out. it wasn't that i was being mean. but it was because i didn't want gundy to feel as though he wasn't as special anymore because another bear was going around with his name. Gundy bear was the only "gundy" i knew of - and that was MY name, for MY bear. i was pretty firm about it too. i actually remember getting pretty upset about the whole thing. and this was probably like...when i was 9 or so. it was alright though, she understood. (she was a great best-friend). :)

anyway, back to the point of this blog. so just realized that there is more than one gund bear out there going by the name gundy. now, just as i was little ehh about the whole thing when i was 9, the feelings are kind of coming back again. *sigh* some things never change i guess. gundy (though people make fun of the name when they first find out what my bear's name is) is an awesome name. everybody wants it for their bear too. the only problem is that gundy was my special name for my favourite bear in the whole world...but now it doesn't seem all that special anymore. :(

maybe i should rename him? hmmm....what do you think of the name OscarFred? :) beeheehee (hahaha. still gets me everytime. i love it.)

man. maybe i just need to let the name thing go. (but ack! it's hard!) maybe i need to grow up. (and maybe, i need to get ready for my exam that's real soon). ;)

jerkfaces

i'm sorry nevin, because i know that one of the guys upstairs is your friend. but...things have been getting worse. :(

after living under these guys for the whole of second term (4months) i have come to a conclusion:

the guys upstairs are the biggest jerks. especially the one above my room.

who plays their music so loud that the bass shakes the floor of the apartment downstairs? they do!
who plays their music so loud that you can hear not only the bass, but everything else in the song too? they do!
who plays their music so loud at like 6 30am in the morning? they do! (no joke with the 6 30am. and this is during exam period.)
who plays their music even louder when the people downstairs try to get them to turn it down? they do!

the sad thing is that nothing in this list has been exaggerated. nothing. there's no doubt in my mind that their hearing is going to falter earlier than it would have without the loud music. it's ridiculously loud.

we have tried being nice. we have tried going upstairs and talking with them. we have tried to tell them to turn it down, we have tried everything. but in the end, jerks will always be jerks. and they are jerks. of the biggest kind. and i really dislike them. as for the guy above my room? oh, he's in a category all his own. the thing i'm looking forward to now (on top of finishing my exams) is them moving out.

okay, so maybe some of them are nicer than the others. if that's the case, this blog has nothing to do with them...

anyway, i'm off the library to studyy. for those still in exams, keep on truckin'! it's almost finished! :)

and it all comes down to now

ahhhh.....exams. *biting nails* good luck everyone! :) study hard.

it's time to hit them books. see ya.

p.s. i can't remember how i got through high school having to stay in school until june....

i have a dream.

i have a dream...
       ...a dream that ALL Christian fellowships in Laurier will be united...

i went to Church in the Concourse on sunday, and it hit me. LCCF is pretty segregated from the rest of the Christian community here at laurier. Church in the Concourse had speakers from the different fellowships on campus go up and share with everyone what was going on for the whole year. LCF (Laurier Christian Fellowship), LMCF (Laurier Music Christian Fellowship), LCM (Lutheran Christian Ministries) were the groups that shared. and i guess through the whole thing, God opened my eyes to see how He was working not only in LCCF but in the other Christian groups as well. it felt great to be surrounded by other Christians and singing praises to God right there in the concourse. and even though i didn't know the majority of the people there (i knew like...3) i still knew that we were all family - all connected though our Heavenly Father.

oddly enough, the theme of the night was family reunion. how appropriate.

at urbana they had all the leaders of the different Christian organizations come together to pray for each other. how awesome would it be if the leaders of the christian groups at laurier got together and did the same thing?

anyway, so as i was sitting there God placed a burden on my heart for unity. not only within LCCF but within the Christian groups across the Laurier campus. God has been doing such great things in LCCF and has blessed our fellowship so much. in the same way, He has also been working in the other fellowships as well. imagine, how much more effective we could be on our campus if we all worked together...

imagine the mark we could make in Laurier. just imagine.

i have a dream. only i can't really take all the credit for it...
       "Thy kindgom come, Thy will be done".

unite Your labourers, God.

may this be just the beginning...

man i am so full. hahaha. :P

question of the day:

should i go to the last choir rehearsal or not?

it's optional.
but there is free food.
it's rainy and yucky outside. and cold.
but there IS free food.

oh goodness. this is a toughie. :P

Father, what this world needs is YOU.

this world just keeps on getting worse and worse everyday.

so i was reading thestar.com today trying to get updates on the whole Cecilia Zhang story...and this was the headline:

Parents tormented by extortion hoax
Man told lawyer in February that kidnappers had Cecilia
Photo of daughter digitally altered to give parents false hope

i'm in a state of unbelief right now - how could anyone do such a thing? and fake everything? giving the Zhangs false hope. i'm so disgusted beyond belief right now.

i don't know who did it...but...what the crap were you thinking?!?!?!? you think it was funny? was this whole case a joke to you? i hope that you're feeling bad right now. real bad. and if you're not, then you're more heartless than i originally thought.

don't even get me started on the kidnappers/murderers...

some days this world makes me wanna scream. today is one of those days.

acquaintances vs. friends

i've learned a lot during my time here in waterloo...more about myself, more about others, and more about how others and myself relate to each other. i've gotten more of a clearer picture of who my acquaintances are, and who my friends are. to me, being friends with someone is more than just labelling them as a "friend", so for me it takes a lot for me to call someone a friend - which is probably a protective thing i've picked up over the years. sometime's it's a little sad to think of the friendships which have slowly turned into "aquaintanceships" but it's also been great meeting new people and having "friends" turn into friends. and then there are the others which are in a category of their own (ie. "good friends") - those who have continued to be a source of constant encouragement and support to me amongst other things.

to the good friends - *nothing in my head seems good enough to say...*
to the friends - thank you for your friendship. it means more than you know. :)
to the aquaintances - i hope that God will bless your friendships like He has blessed mine.

i guess God brings people in and out of your life for a reason. it's tough at times, but slowly i'm learning to let go and embrace and be thankful for what God has given me in the present. :)

as for the term "best friend", it's reserved for only Jesus. ;)

*shivers*

brrr. it's cold here...very cold.

has anyone seen rinny?

*i don't know if u still read this but i thought that it was worth a try...?*

if you're reading this, your name is erin lau and you went to peoples with me, know that i miss you and our conversations. where are you? it's been too long rinny. :( talk to me...msg me, k? :)

gotta give it up to Him.

so, i looked in the mail and i finally got my letter from WLU. before i opened the envelope i said a quick prayer giving it up to God, preparing myself for what i might find inside...turns out...

i got into the music therapy program. :)

thanks for all your prayers.

all glory, honour and praise be to the One who deserves it all - God. thank You Father.

the "Passion" taken to the next level.

it's one thing to watch the passion movie. it's another thing to read the real story in the Bible and realize that the physical suffering depicted in the movie actually happened. i read somewhere on some blog i so happened to come across, that someone thought that the movie was too gory. i couldn't disagree more. it was gory, but perhaps other Jesus movies were not gory enough? either way, doesn't matter. here are the facts:

He was betrayed with a kiss. He was spit and struck on that same face. He was flogged. He was mocked. He was insulted. He was given a crown of thorns. He was struck on the head. He was beaten. just read the Bible, it's all in there...along with much more.

oh Jesus...my sweet Jesus.

"Jesus is the bravest guy i know"
- Dave Overholt

oh, i definitely agree.

[speechless]

I saw the Passion of the Christ yesterday. and when it first ended i was left sitting there, speechless.

all i could think was, His suffering, it was all for me, because of me.

Thank You Father - for Your love, Your grace, Your mercy and Your Son.

My Jesus, I love thee, I know thou art mine;
for thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art thou;
if ever I loved thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

I love thee because thou hast first loved me,
and purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree;
I love thee for wearing the thorns on thy brow;
if ever I loved thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight;
I'll ever adore thee in heaven so bright;
I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

september 2002 - now...

it's been one crazy ride. thanks you. :)

lent: day one - the ashiest wednesday of them all

so today is ash wednesday and for lent i've decided to give up sleeping in. the plan is to wake up no later than 9am (that's the absolute latest) on weekdays and 10am on weekends. originally i was aiming for 8:30-8:45ish but i've decided to push back my "absolute latest time to get up" by 30mins. sadly, this morning i kinda got off to a rocky start, and i ended up getting out of bed 10mins late.

i'm sorry Father.

tomorrow is a new day. i'll try harder. promise.

**an afterthought (12:12am): after tonight's lccf program i was rethinking this whole sleeping in thing. i'm not sure if i'm gonna do it anymore. it just doesn't seem like...the right thing for me. it's kinda hard to explain...ah well. back to the drawing board for ideas. reveal what you want me to give up for these next 40 days Father.

let the games begin...

(by games i mean school. heh.) :P

reading week is "dead and over". can't believe that it sped by so quickly.

highlights:
- lccf retreat: good times guys!
- being home: nothing can beat showering in bare feet. (my new motto. AND it rhymes.)
- seeing liz again: yay!! *he is a barney/oh where oh where oh where...* (bahaha) :D
- being with my family: i love my family. it was so nice to be altogether again. :)

hope y'all had a good one, and to those of us who have your weeks one week behind, have a great one!

think outside that box, sharon.

an already hard thing to do just became all that much harder. i need some of God's lovin.

more later? maybe. but for now...gotta get back to studying for my music history.

*and for the record...MUSIC IS NOT EASY!!!!!!* you try it. what's that? no? exactly. hmmmmph. :)

because of Him, I am free.

Because of what Jesus Christ did, I am set free. i am set free to be me - the real me...the one God has made me to be. but my freedom came with a price, the death of Jesus Christ.

sometimes we look at the cross too casually. we know what happened 2004 years ago, but we don't know. we remember it, but we don't remember. you know what i mean? it's pretty sad...

so where did these thoughts come from? at church on sunday (CFC in up here in loo) they showed the trailer to the new movie the Passion of the Christ by Mel Gibson (which is set to premiere on Feb. 25th). in it they showed bits and pieces of the crucifixion and it really hit me. and i'm thankful for the much needed reminder. i only saw like, a little tidbit of the movie but yah. it just seemed so real. it WAS so real. i could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. my Jesus...our Jesus Christ, going through all that pain and agony for, me. and you. it was really moving.

let us not look at the cross casually, or nonchalantly. instead, let us look at the cross with utmost respect and remember the sacrifice, the pain, the suffering, and the love that kept Him there until it was done.

The Crucifixion

What is crucifixion? A medical doctor provides a physical description: The cross is placed on the ground and the exhausted man is quickly thrown backwards with his shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drives a heavy, square wrought-iron nail through the wrist deep into the wood. Quickly he moves to the other side and repeats the action, being careful not to pull the arms too tightly, but to allow some flex and movement. The cross is then lifted into place. The left foot is pressed backward against the right foot, and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven through the arch of each, leaving the knees flexed.

The victim is now crucified.

As he slowly sags down with more weight on the nails in the wrists, excruciating fiery pain shoots along the fingers and up the arms to explode in the brain - the nails in the wrists are putting pressure on the median nerves. As he pushes himself upward to avoid this stretching torment, he places the full weight on the nail through his feet. Again he feels the searing agony of the nail tearing through the nerves between the bones of his feet. As the arms fatigue, cramps sweep through his muscles, knotting them deep relentless, and throbbing pain. With these cramps comes the inability to push himself upward to breathe. Air can be drawn into the lungs but not exhaled. He fights to raise himself in order to get even one small breath. Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the blood stream, and the cramps partially subsided. Spasmodically, he is able to push himself upward to exhale and bring in life-giving oxygen. Hours of limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-renting cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain as tissue is torn from his lacerated back as he moves up and down against rough timber.

Then another agony begins: a deep, crushing pain deep in the chest as the pericardium slowly fills with serum and begins to compress the heart. It is now almost over. The loss of tissue fluids has reached a critical level. The compressed heart is struggling to pump heavy, thick, sluggish blood into the tissues. The tortured lungs are making frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. He can feel the chill of death creeping through his tissues.

Finally, he allows his body to die.

so long, friendster.

well, my friendster account (the one that i didn't even sign up for myself *ahem eugene*) has officially gone down the toilet. i flushed the little booger down just moments ago. good grief. even to this day i still don't really understand the point of friendster. but maybe it's just me. oh, how i miss the days of the pen and paper. and actually meeting people in person, instead of this crazy "6 degrees of separation" garbage. (what the heck is a degree of separation? you either know a person or you don't. don't give me this "i know you through my friend's brother's relative's cousin's neice's sister's friend" stuff. why not? well, 1) because it's way too confusing, and 2) at the end of it all, we still don't know each other (i mean c'mon, let's be honest here)...

oh well, as i said before - maybe it's just me. :)

in any case the friendster and sharon connection has been terminated. *say it like arnold would. it sounds cooler that way.* :P

thank you :)

so my jazz concert was yesterday - thanks to everyone who came out, it really meant a lot to have you guys there. :) even though i might not have looked it, i was pretty stressed out on the inside. guess all those performances for yamaha when i was younger paid off after all. :P when performing, it's all about looking calm and confident, even when you feel like you wanna barf. ;)

*side note: those guys upstairs are really loud. they keep on falling down. tonight alone i must have heard at least 3 big thuds. they really need to be more careful...oh. i think that they just fell down again. :P

Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be Done.

I originally didn't want to go to Urbana 2003. Spiritually, I was in a place where I didn't even want to be surrounded by so many Christians and when the time came for us to go I was so far from Him - so far from our Father, so far from my Creator. I was unsatisfied with the life that He created for me, unsatisfied with the things in which He had blessed me with, and I was unsatisfied with every part of me. I was thirsting for something more...i just didn't know what that "something" was.

I went to New York to visit my sister (see my past blog), and seeing Liz and having my family altogether again helped me quite a bit. It didn't bring me closer to God, but I felt "free" in the sense that I was away from everything and I was with my parents and my sister. I left New York not wanting to go to Urbana and my attitude to go was all wrong. I figured, because it was so much money and I had already paid it all I'd just suck it up and go and see where God would take me from there.

Now that I'm back from Urbana I can honestly say that I am truly thankful that I went. I started off not wanting to go at all, but in the end I couldn't wait to come back - not because I didn't want to be at the conference anymore, but because I wanted to put into practice what I had learned, and the things that God had impressed upon my heart there.

Being with my blood family had helped me in the sense that I felt happy and secure with them, but I left New York by myself feeling alone and weary to be coming back to Toronto. But being surrounded by and worshiping with 20,000 of my brothers and sisters of Christ and being saturated with the presence of the Holy Spirit at Urbana filled up the void, and left me feeling secure in Christ, satisfied and renewed. Coming back to Toronto the second time, I'm excited to see the places in which God will lead me. I know there will be challenges that will come my way but with the help, guidance, patience and love of Our Heavenly Father, all things are possible. With regards to figuring out what i was thirsting for, I finally figured it out. "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." - Psalm 42:1 I had been searching for so long it seemed only to find that it was in front of my face the whole time. Father, thank You.

something more ::switchfoot

Augustine just woke up with a broken heart
All this time he's never been awake before
At 31 his whole world is a question mark
All this time he's never been awake before

Watching dreams that he once had
Feed the flame inside his head
In a quiet desperation of the emptiness
He says

*Chorus:
"Theres gotta be something more
Than what I'm living for
I'm crying out to you" (2x)

Augustine
All his fears keep falling out
All this time he's never been awake before
Finding out his old dreams aren't panning out
All this time he's never been awake before

But he's mad to be alive
And he's dying to be met
In a quiet desperation of the emptiness
He says*

Something more

Hey, I give it all away
Nothing I was holding back remains
Hey, I give it all away
Looking for the grace of God today*